Someone to Romance by Mary Balogh

September 15, 2020

Time to take a nap

https://marybalogh.com/
Well, the Queen has done it again. She’s written a slow moving romance. The problem is, it’s so slow I started to nod off. Someone to Romance is part of Ms. Balogh’s Westcott series. I will be honest, this series has been all over the place. So far, there are eight books in this series. Out of those eight I liked three: Someone to Wed, Someone to Love, and Someone to Care. So, the percentage is a tad bit off.

Someone to Romance is Lady Jessica Archer and Gabriel Thorne’s story. If you have been following this story you may remember Jessica. She is/was the best friend of Lady Abigail Westcott. Jessica is not a very likeable person. She’s feeling blue because her bestest friend in the whole wide world is happily married. Yes, Jessica had planned on her and Abigail being spinsters and being together all of their life. How dare Abigail be happy with her man! Jessica is feeling sorry for herself. She sees the clock ticking away, she’s getting older, she’s twenty-five after all!!! Yikes! Since she can no longer roam the world with her spinster friend, she decides that she to will marry. She doesn’t necessarily care who she marries, but she just doesn’t want to be alone. Another case of depending on others to make you happy. It’s a real pity party.

Gabriel is also not a very likeable character. He is what one would call an absentee landlord. He’s been living in America for thirteen years. He’s been making loads of money, in the process he has also ignored what’s going on at his English estate. However, there is a fly in the ointment, his uncle Manley Rochford. You see, Gabriel is really the Earl of Lyndale, except everyone thinks he’s dead. Manley, his uncle, is going to have Gabriel declared dead, and claim the title himself. Gabriel’s uncle is a Snidely Whiplash kind of villain. Then one day he receives a letter from his aunt’s sister, Mary. She has been kicked out of her house on the Lyndale land by our villain, Manley. So after years of ignoring the people who depend on him, Gabriel decides to get off of his butt and help. He’s going to be sly about it and not let anyone know he’s back. There’s a good reason he is being shifty. He has to prove who he is. It won’t be easy because he’s changed a lot in the thirteen years. He will need to prove who he says he is. And he has a plan!

He is going to find an aristocratic bride. Someone who belongs to a powerful family. Someone who knows how to run an estate. His eyes fall on Jessica, the perfect person for the job. Now the story does a fast gear switch. When Gabriel suggests Jessica marry him, all of a sudden she wants romance. Now, she wants what Abigail has! Yes, she wants romance, and she wants to be romanced. Even though her original thoughts about marriage were cold, now she wants someone who doesn’t have an ulterior motive. Even though she’s not willing to give, she want’s someone to give to her. She was very selfish.

Gabriel’s idea of romance was interesting. While he may have no idea how to be romantic, he ends up being swoon worthy. He starts by sending her one rose every day. Who wouldn’t start to pay attention to something like that? While I thought Gabriel’s romantic technique was a winner, for me, both Gabriel and Jessica lack “couple” chemistry. Usually Ms. Balogh inundates her characters with thoughts, emotions, and slow burns. But they were strangely lacking in this book.

I think part of this was due to the fact that most of the Westcott’s put in an appearance. Now, that I’ve whined about the Westcott’s, I have to say, I did chuckle at Avery Archer, Duke of Netherby’s reason for disliking one of Jessica’s suitors: “He has too many teeth.” Brought a smile to my face.

Overall, Someone to Romance was very slow, and forgettable. It had a hero and heroine who were both unlikable. The story was just sort of bland. If you want to keep track of the Westcott family, then go ahead and read this one. But it’s really not all that exciting. 

 

Time/Place: Regency England

Sensuality: Bland

Someone to Trust by Mary Balogh

December 17, 2018
A cornucopia of characters can be overwhelming – even from the best

https://marybalogh.com/
I always look forward to Mary Balogh’s books. She’s always been one of my favorites. From the very beginning in 1983 with The Masked Deception, I knew she was special. Her books were always fuller, deeper, and more involved than most of the rest. She can handle tricky, controversial subjects with a quiet, subtle hand. Is she a Goddess? Well, yes! Does she sometimes not succeed? Well, yes – sometimes even Goddesses trip over words.

I was so excited when Someone to Trust came out. It was the first book I read when the new books hit the shelves. This story happens to be one of her more quiet romances and, much to my sorrow, it didn’t have the sparkle I have come to expect in a Balogh story. In fact, at times I found the narrative exhausting. Why is that, you may ask. Well, my little Petunia’s, every character in her Westcott series is in the book. The story seemed as if it were one gigantic epilogue, but instead of butterflies flapping we have snowflakes falling.

Someone to Trust begins where Someone to Care ends. It also happens to be set in the wintertime around the holidays, hence the snow. This story's romantic pair are Colin Handrich, Lord Hughes, and Lady Elizabeth Overfield. And, they get lost in the shuffle. Even though there is a pedigree chart in the front of the book, it only helps a little. For me, all those characters together were one big noisy clutter and trying to keep track of them gave me a headache. Let’s see, we have Eugenia, Dowager Countess of Riverdale. She is the grandmother of Camille Cunningham, the wife of Joel Cunningham. They are the parents of Winifred, Robbie, Sarah, and newborn Jacob. Camille was a Westcott, which means her siblings are Harry and Abigail Westcott. Those two haven’t had their stories, yet. Their mother is Viola Kingsley - notice the last name is different, (see Someone to Care). Viola recently married Marcel Lamarr and we are celebrating their marriage when this story begins. There is also Anna Archer, aka Westcott, aka Duchess of Netherby; her husband is Avery, Duke of Netherby. They have a child, Josephine. Then we have Alexander Westcott, Earl of Rivendale (he’s legitimate); he is married to Wren who is the sister of Colin – our hero. Wren has a birthmark on her face. They have a gooey child by the name of Nathan. All of these people are talking and having snowball fights – but wait there’s more! There is Lady Jessica Archer, half-sister to Avery and daughter of Louise. There is Boris, Ivan, and Peter. There is Michael, Mary, Matilda, Althea, Estelle, Bertrand, Louise, Sleepy, Sneezy, and Sleezy. Oh, and don’t forget Sir Geoffrey Codaire, but he’s not at the party. Also not at this party are Colin’s family, Lady Hodges and his sisters – they show up in a later section of the book. These are not the only people who populate this novel – there are just waaaay tooooo many for me to remember. Whenever, any of these people were introduced we also were given a brief wrap-up of their story. All of these characters overwhelmed the narrative and I was not able to enjoy Colin and Elizabeth’s romance.

Colin and Elizabeth’s romance is buried in the plethora of characters who move through the pages of this story. The main theme of the book was an age difference – she’s the eldest by nine years. But that was buried under the chaos. Let's not forget Colin’s horrible mother, who should never have been forgiven. She was a vain creature who thought only of herself. She was emotionally and psychologically abusive to mostly Wren, but Colin was also occasionally on the receiving end of his mother’s actions.  For some reason Ms. Balogh chooses to sugarcoat Lady Hodges' character at the end. As far as I’m concerned, Colin and his sister Wren should never have had anything more to do with their mother. Why they would ever expose their future children to this woman was beyond me. As I’ve said before – just because people are related doesn’t been they should be part of the family.

Anyway, bottom line. I was disappointed in this story. I was overwhelmed by all of the characters who made an appearance in the book, both past and future ones. All of these supporting people distracted from the main couple, and I was not able to find any spark between Elizabeth and Colin. Normally, Ms. Balogh’s quiet books have a chemistry between the hero and heroine which is burning just below the surface. For me, there was no burning, yearning, or desire between Colin and Elizabeth. Sadly, they were hidden beneath too many people for a romance to develop.

Time/Place: Regency England
Sensuality: Mislaid

Someone to Remember by Mary Balogh

Warning: this is a short story

https://marybalogh.com/
I wanted to love this book. It was written by one of my favorite author’s, Mary Balogh. It’s part of the Westcott series. It was about an older couple, both at the advanced age of 56. While a number of people may not want to read about so-called older people being in love, I figured that in the hands of Ms. Balogh, I would be in for a magnificent ride. By the way, shame on those people who think love is only for the young. I have news for you: feelings never go away and they never become placid. Remember some of the goofy things you did for love when you were young. Well, you still do them when you’re older. You still have doubts. You have just as many emotions now as you did then, but this time you have wrinkles, and sagging body parts to add into the blend.  Be warned, love is not easier the second, third or fourth time around. Anyway, back to Someone to Remember.

If anyone could pull an older couple romance off, it would be Mary Balogh. Sadly, for me, she did not succeed. My disappointment did not have anything to do with the age of the couple, it had to do with characters not being fully developed, and a plotline that didn’t go anyplace. 

Short story issue. Yes, I know this was a short story, but Ms. Balogh has never let that stop her from giving us some amazing stories before. There was an introduction by Ms. Balogh explaining why she wrote this story. In that intro, she states how much she has come to care for Matilda. Then the story. Following the story were five excerpts from the previous books in the series. For me, Someone to Remember turned out to be an advertisement for Ms. Balogh’s other books, and not the story of Matilda and Charles. I was expecting so much more, especially after Ms. Balogh’s stated how much Matilda’s character meant to her.

Once upon a time Matilda and Charles were in love. He had a rakish reputation, and her family let her know that because of that reputation he was not good enough for her. Matilda and Charles were both heart-broken. Charles went on to be even more rakish, even fathering an illegitimate son in the process, (Gil from Someone to Honour). Matilda went on to become an unappreciated drudge for her mother, and a fixer-upper for the rest of the Westcott family. Now Charles is a widower, and Matilda is still a spinster. At this point it would be nice to say “the sparks are about to fly.” That my little Petunia’s was my issue with this story. There were no sparks.

There was not any real conflict, and there was no chemistry between Matilda and Charles. I could perceive no friendship building, no sexual tension, nothing. The only emotion exhibited was anger from Charles. He’s angry with Matilda for letting her mother  walk all over her for years. When Matilda did finally confront her mother, the reasoning behind her treatment of Matilda through the years was weird. Also tiresome was Matilda’s continuous lamentation about her age.

This was a big disappointment for me. The story could have taken a different path, but didn’t. There could have been some flashbacks, or something, which would have given us some insights into Charles and Matilda, but there were not. If characters are fully developed, they become living, breathing people in our mind. They become someone we have affection for, and we want their happily-ever-after. I was hoping that Ms. Balogh would give us a romance between two mature people, but there was no intensity, no passion, and no connection between the two. Sorry to say, Someone to Remember was not one of my favorite Balogh stories.     

Time/Place: Regency England
Sensuality: Missing

Someone to Care by Mary Balogh

June 11, 2018
There is Life After Twenty

http://www.marybalogh.com/
One of the many reasons I'm such a big fan of Mary Balogh is that she explores themes which aren’t always the trendsetter of the day, then turn them into something delightfully refreshing.  As far as I’m concerned, Mary Balogh is the queen of writing intense feelings. Someone to Care not only has a couple in which the female lead is older, but both the main characters are older than 20, nay older than 30 – one of them is in their 40s! It was appealing not to have to read about a young woman just out of puberty.

Mary Balogh has also tackled characters which are not necessarily likeable. Both of them have a distinct edge. Sometimes Ms. Balogh succeeds with these edges and sometimes she doesn’t. In this case, I believe she has succeeded in treating us to a delightful story with a fascinating couple. I really enjoyed watching this couple maneuver through the obstacles presented to them as they marched to their well-deserved HEA.

If you are following Ms. Balogh’s latest series, you will recall Viola Kingsley, Countess of Riverdale isn’t really the countess. It seems her husband was actually married to someone else when he married her. So, not only did her world come crumbling down around her feet, her children became illegitimate. In this book MS Balogh’s breaks away from the younger characters and focuses on forty-two year old Viola.

Viola is not taking her new standing in society very well. Even though her entire family and her husband-not-husband's family have surrounded her with love and support, she has rejected them. She has hidden away from her loved ones in the country and now calls herself Viola Kingsley. It is at a joyful family gathering; a christening for her grandchild that panic-doom-boo-hoo sets in. She abruptly flees from her family. When she stops at an inn, she notices someone from her past, Marcel Lamarr, Marquess of Dorchester.

Marcel has rather a rakish reputation, and it’s a well-deserved reputation. He remembers Viola. When he was young, he tried to seduce Viola – she said no. He moved on, he married, became a father, then a widower, but he has never forgotten Viola. So, when he spots her at the same inn, an idea takes form. He has some family duties he is avoiding. He suggests to Viola that they just shuck it all and make a mad dash to his cottage, far, far, away from family, and the weight which is pressing down on both of them. Much to his surprise, she takes him up on it. And, soon Viola and Marcel are on a road trip, where they are free to indulge in their lustful feelings. Along the way they become friends, lovers, confidants, and uncover angst-filled pasts. Here’s the thinking on their plan: what do they have to lose? They’re adults, they don’t have to answer to anyone. Who cares what they do? They can be irresponsible it they want to be, can’t they? Well the answer to that my little Petunia’s is no, they can’t be irresponsible.

While Marcel and Viola are traveling around, going to fairs, enjoying life and each other’s company both of their families are barreling down the roads after them. This chase allows us to visit with some of the characters from the previous books. And, that was fine. The chase scenes with the other characters did not overwhelm the telling of Marcel and Viola’s story.

There is a scene in this story which might disturb some readers – spoiler. Marcel mentions numerous times in the book that he killed his first wife. Well, as we all know in Romanceland that doesn’t always mean anything. However, in this case he did. It was an accident. While some may consider him abusive, I didn't. There isn’t any mention anywhere in the entire book which would indicate he was a violent man. What he did was strike out while trying to save his child and his wife lost her balance. I believe he acted as any human would have acted while defending his child. And, there would have been plenty of angst and guilt he would have felt to be the cause of someones death. But is was an accident. When I read this story I saw no signs of abusive behavior, nor anything which would make him less of a hero. I just saw a man consumed with alllllll kinds of pain caused by a disaster beyond his control.

Overall, I do recommend this story. I loved the characters and was thrilled that at last we had some mature people to read about. Thank you Ms. Balogh.

Time/Place: Regency England
Sensuality:Warm/Hot

Someone to Hold by Mary Balogh

November 9, 2017
In search of Camille.

http://www.marybalogh.com/
Mary Balogh’s Someone to Hold is the second story in the Westcott family series. This one happens to be about Camille Westcott and Joel Cunningham. If you’ve read the first in the series, you will know that Camille is the illegitimate product of a bigamist marriage. She has grown up privileged, thinking she was the legitimate daughter of an aristocrat. She’s been surrounded by people who have put her on a pedestal, but it’s a false pedestal and something she hasn’t earned on her own. She’s on that pedestal just because of her birth; she has no other identity. Then her world is shattered when she finds out her father was never legally wed to her mother. She has grown to expect certain things just because she was born into a certain place in the world. Now, everything is falling down around her feet, her friends turn from her and her fiancée breaks their engagement – she doesn’t know who she is. And, that’s what this book basically is – Camille’s search to find herself. 

Before I go any further I will say this was not one of my favorite Balogh books; I had a problem with Camille. Camille was very unlikable. She was unlikable in the previous story and she still is. She does some odd things to find herself. One of the things she does is find employment at the orphanage her half-sister Anna was employed in. By the way, Anna also grew up in that orphanage. I never quite bought into the idea of Camille finding herself in that orphanage. I didn’t understand her reasoning. Sure, sure, she would have found out what made Anna tick but how she was going to find herself? This didn’t ring true for me. On the up side, Camille gains a certain amount of freedom, which she never had before. 

Joel Cunningham is Camille’s love interest, although I couldn’t see any romantic chemistry between the two. Camille was so involved in finding herself without the help of anyone else, that the romance became secondary. I also have to add that I found Camille’s constant declining of help from her family selfish. Not only did she reject Anna’s help, but she cut herself off from her sister Abigail. Abigail had none nothing to deserve Camille’s boo-hoo-pity-me attitude.

Then there’s Joel’s story line. It was just odd. He was an artist who painted portraits of people based on their personalities. He would get to know them and then miraculously come up with these great pieces of art. These pieces of art were quite popular with society, so he was able to make a living at them. But, I found Joel’s story to be a little…searching for right word…boring. Then toward the end of the book, he finds out who his father was and inherits lots of money from a curmudgeonly relative. I thought this was a very contrived. It was the poor-guy-to-rich-guy routine. I was a little surprised to see this device in a Mary Balogh book.

Parents. One of the things that bothered me in the book was Camille’s need to look good in her father’s eyes. And, I will be blunt – her father was a bit of a shite. I can understand how a young Camille would try everything she could think of to win her father’s affection. But, how many times does one have to be kicked in the teeth before one sees that some people are just not worth the bother? Then she forgave him. That had me gritting my teeth. Why Camille had to forgive her father was beyond me. Just because you are family doesn’t mean you have to like them. It’s alright to realize that your father isn’t someone you want to be around. It’s also alright to think that just possibly… maybe… you don’t really like him, let alone love him. I think Camille would have appeared stronger if she had some kind of epiphany about her father and not “forgiven” him. He wasn’t worth the pain. I also never understood why Camille’s mother went into hiding while her children suffered.

For me this story didn’t work. I didn’t particularly care for Camille, I thought the romance was flat and for once I was not able to get lost in a Balogh book. Very disappointed. The only thing I liked about this story was when Camille and her half-sister Anna finally started to accept each other.

Time/Place: Regency England
Sensuality: Warm

Goodbye 2020!!!!!!

2020…

”We starve-look
At one another
Short of breath
Walking proudly in our winter coats
Wearing smells from laboratories
Facing a dying nation
Of moving paper fantasy
Listening for the new told lies
With supreme visions of lonely tunes

Somewhere
Inside something there is a rush of
Greatness
Who knows what stands in front of
Our lives
I fashion my future on films in space
Silence
Tells me secretly
Everything

Manchester England England
Across the Atlantic Sea
Arms take your last embrace
And I'm a genius genius
I believe in God
And I believe that God believes in Claude
That's me, that's me, that's me
The rest is silence

We starve-look
At one another
Short of breath
Walking proudly in our winter coats
Wearing smells from laboratories
Facing a dying nation
Of moving paper fantasy
Listening for the new told lies
With supreme visions of lonely tunes
Singing
Our space songs on a spider web sitar
Life is around you and in you
Answer for Timothy Leary, dearie

Let the sunshine
Let the sunshine in
The sunshine in
Let the sunshine
Let the sunshine in
The sunshine in
Let the sunshine
Let the sunshine in
The sun shine in...” 

Hair… Gerome Ragni, James Rado, Galt MacDermot

2021
    
I think I can speak for almost everyone…I for one am glad to see the last of 2020. I only hope that sometime the coming year we are all able to stand together and cheer. I think what I’m most looking forward to is being in a crowd and smiling. I don’t think it matters too much what I’m smiling at, as long as we are doing it together. There’s just something about staring up at the skies and everyone going aaahhhhh.

As far as books, this was mostly a disappointing year for me. I kept looking for a new author to cheer me up, but alas, twas’ not to be. I found myself turning more and more to my old stand-by books.

Voices we have lost this year: Mary Higgins Clark, Sheila Connelly, Clive Cussler, Karen Harper, Donna Kaufman, Barbara Neely, Susan Sizemore, Carlos Ruiz Zafon.

Debut authors who have shown up on my radar: Sophie Cousens, Alexandria Bellefleur, Denise Williams, Elysia Whisler, Rosie Danan, Bethany Bennett, Jenny Bayliss,  Barb Curtis, Kristen McKanah, Jane Igharo, Rachel Givney, Chloe James, Krista Jensen, Brianne Moore, Annabelle Greene, Lily Menon, Fiona Knightley, Georgia Toffolo, Lizzie O’Hagan, Heidi Catherine, Marie Lipscomb, Krysta Fox, Jane Ver Mulm, Chelle Sloan,  Fiona Rivers, Lisa Bent, Tina Rischlynn, Kit Hawthorne, Juliana Wight, Lola West. Good luck to all of you.

2020 Outstanding List. As I mentioned earlier, this was a hard year for me when it came to finding that special book. I found myself turning more and more to my old beloved stories. Thanks to all you authors who brought a smile to my lips. And, thanks to all of you authors who have brought some brightness into our world.

2020 Outstanding (In no particular order):
1.    My Last Duchess, Eloisa James, 2020
2.    My Kind of Earl, Vivienne Lorret, 2020
3.    Beauty Tempts the Beast, by Lorraine Heath, 2020
4.    About a Rogue, by Caroline Linden, 2020
5.    A Dangerous Kind of Lady, by Mia Vincy, 2020
6.    Redeeming the Elusive Earl, by Virginia Heath, 2020
7.    Slightly Married, by Mary Balogh, 2003
8.    Slightly Scandalous, by Mary Balogh, 2003
9.    Slightly Dangerous, by Mary Balogh, 2004
10.   The Perfect Waltz, by Anne Gracie, 2005
11.    The Perfect Stranger, by Anne Gracie, 2006
12.    First Comes Scandal, by Julia Quinn, 2020
13.    Mr. Impossible, by Loretta Chase, 2005
14.    Last Nights Scandal, by Loretta Chase, 2010
15.    The Secret Mistress, by Mary Balogh, 2011
16.    The Christmas Bride, by Anne Gracie, 2020

Disappointing books of 2020. First of all, an author does not have to be a bad writer to appear on my list of disappointing books. Let’s remember who this is all about…me, me, me. These are my disappointing books. There could be all kinds of reasons why a book makes it to this list, and they are my reasons. Maybe a number of my hot buttons were activated. Maybe it was a book which didn’t stand up to the test of time. Maybe I’m just human, and what someone else loves I don’t. Of course, there could be a problem with the writing, but then again that’s all subjective. There could be a problem with the editing, or the narrative, but then again, it’s – repeat after me – all about me, me, me. This does not mean I have crossed a particular author off of my list, it’s just a particular book, at a particular time was not a winner.

2020 disappointments (in no particular order)
1.    Duke I’d like to F…,Sierra Simone, Joanna Shupe, Eva Leigh, Nicola Davidson, Adriana Herrera, 2020
2.    Ten Kisses to Scandal, Vivienne Lorret, 2018
3.    The Absolutely Positively Worst Man in England, Scotland, and Wales, by Anne Stuart, 2020
4.    Someone to Romance, by Mary Balogh, 2020
5.    A Kiss from a Rogue, by Elisa Braden, 2019
6.    Desperately Seeking a Scoundrel, by Elisa Braden, 2015
7.    The Madness of Viscount Atherbourn, by Elisa Braden, 2015
8.    When a Girl Loves an Earl, by Elisa Braden, 2015
9.    The Footman and I, by Valerie Bowman, 2020
10.   A Royal Kiss and Tell, by Julia London, 2020
11.    Splendid, by Julia Quinn, 1995
12.    Dancing at Midnight, by Julia Quinn, 1995
13.    How to Catch an Errant Earl, by Amy Rose Bennett, 2020
14.    Simply Unforgettable, 2005, Simply Love, 2006, Simply Magic, 2007, Simply Perfect, 2008 by Mary Balogh
15.    The Perfect Kiss, by Anne Gracie, 2007
16.    The Earl Not Taken, by A.S. Fenichel, 2020
17.    No Man’s Mistress, by Mary Balogh, 2001
18.    Anyone but a Duke, by Betina Krahn, 2020

On to my prestigious awards.
 
No More Wire Hangers, aka 2020 Mommie Dearest Award. 

You know, there always seems to be plenty of bad relatives hanging around in Romanceland. This award is given to alllll bad relatives, not just mothers. These bad relatives are lurking behind many pages, just waiting to make our heroine or hero miserable. In some cases, the hero can never luv another woman because of something his mother did. After all of these years, I’m not sure which one of these relatives I find the most disturbing. They can be oblivious fathers, conniving mothers, wastrel brothers, self-centered sisters, or spoiled cousins. It doesn’t matter, and usually their punishment is never enough. As much as I would like otherwise, there always seem to be bullying relatives just waiting behind that closed door.
 
My nominations for 2020:
1.    From Vivienne Lorret’s, My Kind of Earl, we have Jane’s parents. Jane is forced to do all the parenting due to the fact that she has a pair of narcissistic parents. It’s ok for these parents to have tons of children, then ignore them.
2.    Evie Dunmore’s father of the hero, from A Rogue of One’s Own. This guy is pretty much a monster. He threatens the hero, Tristin, with locking up Tristin’s mother in an asylum, if Tristin doesn’t’ do what he wants.
3.    The father from Caroline Linden’s, About a Rogue is a real bonehead. Yes, it’s possible for parents to be boneheads. This father treats his daughter horribly, and all the time all she wants is his affection. It’s pretty pathetic. This is a case where the father got off lightly.
4.    In Anne Gracie’s, Marry in Scarlet, has a manipulator mother to end all manipulators. And because of her, her son can never trust, believe, or luv a woman.
5.    Another father, who has waaay too much hold over his adult son in Julia Quinn’s, First Come Scandal.
6.    Oh no! Say it ain’t so! Every year since this series began, this mother has made my list. Yes, it’s Francesca, Lady Aldriss from Suzanne Enoch’s, Scot Under Covers. Yes, she’s still a horrible mother. She’s still blackmailing her sons into submission, and then wondering why they don’t like her. Not only does Francesca make it to our list, but the winner of this year’s Mommie Dearest comes from the same book.
7.    From Suzanne Enoch’s, Scot Under the Covers, the truly loathsome brother Mathew. Mathew actually sells his sister to a slimy toad. And, because of that, Mathew is the winner of the Mommie Dearest winner this year. Congratulations Mathew – you stink!

2020 Steve Morgan Bonehead Hero Award.

Ah yes, the hero we love to hate. He is usually an alpha male; he is jealous, possessive, controlling, obsessive, and arrogant. He can never forget his first love, he blames his horrible mother for his treatment of women, he’s always right, he calls his heroine Wren, Little One, Carrot Top, Squeal-pudding and Button Nose. He doesn’t wear any protection when he has sex; and he keeps a bottle of cream on a near-by night stand, because he doesn’t want to take the time. Yes, he is an all-around, self-centered jerk. He makes a practice of making women feel small. The Steve Morgan Bonehead is a creature who should have left this world in the 1970s, but I fear he is still lurking under the weeds.

My nominations for the 2020 Boneheads are:
1.    From Ten Kisses to Scandal, by Vivienne Lorret we have a much older man. While I will be honest, I am not fond of large age differences, sometimes in the hands of the right author I have over-looked it. But not in this case, because Nicholas is experienced in so many ways. It is just creepy how he dominates the heroine, and not just physically. He is so condescending, he might as well pat her on the head like a dog.  
2.    Raven, from My Kind of Earl, by Vivienne Lorret is an almost-bonehead. Yes! I can have almost boneheads if I want them. He chose the very last minutes to let his inner petulance loose and throw a fit.
3.    You can always depend on Anne Stuart to give us a bonehead hero, and she does in The Absolutely Positively Worst Man in England, Scotland and Wales. Let me introduce you to Christopher/Kit. He is pure bonehead hero material, even if there is a half-hearted-redemption at the end.
4.    In Mary Balogh’s, Someone to Romance, we have a bonehead who is an absentee landlord. There seems to be a lot of those in more recent books.  This one is Gabriel Thorne. He has been in America for thirteen years earning tons money, and ignoring the people who are struggling to make a living on his lands. He whines and complains about not wanting to stay in England during most of the book.
5.    The Madness of Viscount Atherbourn, by Elisa Braden introduces a revenge bonehead hero, Lucien. Lucien is not only a bonehead, but he has a Bonehead Hero Romanceland Plan. Both Lucien and his stupid plan suck. Lucien is not only vengeful, but he is a cruel, sadistic, wanker.
6.    Boo-hoo-whiners can be Bonehead heroes too. This one also happens to be royal, and is responsible for a DNF. From Julia London, A Royal Kiss and Tell, we have Prince Leopold, a kiss-my-butt-I’m-royal-bonehead.
7.    Let me introduce you to Colin, our winner. Colin is a character from Elisa Braden’s series Rescue from Ruin, and his book is Desperately Seeking a Scoundrel. Colin was a horrible person in every single book in the series. The more he showed up in the books, the deeper into the mud he sunk. Colin was just toooo much of a bonehead for any author to redeem.

Sidekicks, aka Secondary Characters, aka Supporting Cast of 2020.
Where would a book be without those wonderful secondary characters? There would be no one for our heroine or hero to talk to. There would be no hunky men in a series for us to wait for. There would not be any intelligent women with a purpose for us to cheer on. What would we do without all those scene stealers? This award recognizes the bad and the good secondary characters. These are the characters who caught my eye this year.

1.    Lorraine Heath’s Trewlove family has been around for a number of books, and Beauty Tempts the Beast is the last of them. And, in my opinion one of the best. Through this series, I have grown quite fond of Ettie Trewlove, and the foundation of love she created for all the children who found a home with her.
2.    Remember I said not all secondary characters are good. Sometimes we have irritating, interrupting characters who are having their own boring romance. And, that’s what happens in The Absolutely Positively Worst Man in England, Scotland and Wales, by Anne Stuart. Yes, every time we start getting some insight into our lead characters, along comes irritating Cecilia and her Bow Street Runner. Hey, Cecilia! We don’t care!
3.    Secondary character overload. We get to have a visit from every single Westcott there ever was, and ever will be, in Mary Balogh’s, Someone to Romance.
4.    The one good thing about Valerie Bowman’s, The Footman and I, was the friendship between the hero and his friends. But the great chemistry between the friends disappear when they get their own book.
5.    In Virginia Heath’s, Lilian and the Irresistible Duke, we are treated to a secondary character who is memorable …and, it’s not human. No, this secondary character is the glorious vision which is Rome. Ms. Heath changes Rome into a living, breathing experience which was a pleasure to read.
6.    It was a delightful flash-back, and it involved going back to when Anthony, Benedict, and Colin Bridgerton’s were still young boys. They were so very entertaining, and they brought a smile to my face in Julia Quinn’s, First Comes Scandal.
7.    The entire Bedwyn family in Mary Balogh’s Simply series. Every single book in the series as a plethora of Bedwyn’s showing up…don’t they have their own homes?
8.    When Mary Balogh gets it right, she gets it right. From Slightly Married, she gives us two wonderful children: Rebecca and David. The emotions were powerful, and they almost stole the show.
9.    Once again Mary Balogh turns out some great writing. And, once again it isn’t a secondary person, but this time it is an event – The Duke of Richmond’s ball before the battle of Waterloo. The fear of the upcoming battle is so vivid, you can smell it.
10.    My favorite secondary character this year was Bazzle, from Lisa Kleypas’ Chasing Casandra. This young street boy is so very charming. He is great fun. And, it isn’t long before he and his lice, are stealing the scenes.

The 2020 Romanceland Plan 

Allow me to introduce to you a brand-new award. Yes! I don’t know why it took me so long to realize that Plans in Romanceland don’t work, but it did. I thought to myself, “You know, it’s time to recognize these odd thinking moments by supposedly intelligent people.” There are certain warning signs to watch for when a Romanceland Plan is about to be born. Look out for a female disguised as a male, and she may be breaking into a house. She is probably breaking into the house of the man who ruined her sister; however, it turns out that she is mistaken and it’s his brother/uncle/cousin/friend’s house. But that doesn’t matter, because he also has a plan, he’s going to wreak revenge on her because she’s the sister of the man who ruined his sister/mother/cousin, and besides that, he just hates the heroine’s family. But then they announce that they are engaged, but it’s not really a real engagement! No! it’s a fake engagement! But in order to maintain the fake engagement, one of them has to dress up as a servant because they need to get the jewels that are hidden, and the father of the girl dressed as a boy will forgive her for not marrying first. Then they will have to sneak into the villain’s house and rescue allll the orphan’s, before they are sacrificed to the men in the Hellfire club. Sounds like a plan! Then the birds will sing, the squirrels will chatter, and the unicorns will skitter across the countryside. All will once again be well in Romanceland. 

And, here are some other worthy 2020 Romanceland plans:
1.    From Evie Dunmore’s, A Rogue of One’s Own, we have our hero Tristan’s plan to save his mother from an asylum, then ship her off to India…because she has friends there? Because she likes India? Because she asked to go there? Nope, none of those.
2.    Gabriel from Mary Balogh’s, Someone to Romance, has a plan. He plans to marry someone from a powerful family in order to regain his estate. Not sure how. He of course hasn’t been at his estate in years and years, and he doesn’t plan on staying, and he doesn’t plan on falling in love. So, the plan will probably work.
3.    The I-know-what-is-best-for-you plan by Elisa Braden’s heroine Augusta, from Anything but a Gentleman. Yes, she’s going to break into a gaming house and steal the “markers” of the creep who seduced her sister, then left her sister pregnant. Does she take into consideration that the guy is a real burp? No. Does she listen to her sister? Nah. Does she do smart things? Ha ha. Does she have long legs and red hair? Yep! That’s probably why her plan won’t work.
4.    From the same book, we have another plan. This one is from Sebastian. His plan is to scare Augustus by suggesting she become his mistress…I am speechless. We are talking about a hunky guy from a romance book, and being his mistress is supposed to be scary…Be afraid…be very afraid.
5.    Another book by Elisa Braden, The Madness of Viscount Atherbourn. Oh, my favorite kind of plan, the revenge plan. Yes, Lucien is mad, he is seeking revenge on the man he believes is responsible for the ruination of his sister. His plan is to seduce the sister of the man he hates, then create a scandal. Well, the seduction works, but the next day he proposes…so, how does that plan work again?
6.    From Valerie Bowman’s, the Footman and I, we have the disguise plan. Three spies/buddies/rakes disguise themselves as servants because…we don’t know why. It’s a bet, one of them is a spy, one of them is avoiding women…it’s a very confusing plan. It doesn’t make sense, but what it does do is get them in the house the same time the heroines are there.
7.    A normal plan, or as normal as Romanceland can allow. The plan from Anne Gracie’s, The Perfect Stranger. Nicolas will marry Faith and return her to England. Yep, that’s the plan. Sounds simple, doesn’t it? Well, they have to trek through the countryside of France to get to England. They succeed in getting to England. Then there is some kind of weird, paranormal gypsy who reaches their hand inside the hero’s body, pulls out a tumor, and saves him. The gypsy hand event wasn’t part of the plan, just weird.
8.    From Mary Balogh’s, Slightly Sinful, is a doozy of a plan. This plan involves a bunch of prostitutes, our innocent heroine, a crusty one-eyed sergeant, and a hero with amnesia. All of these people need to get some money…because they all have dreams. Well maybe not the guy with amnesia. Anyway, they all pretend to be someone else, so they can approach our heroine’s uncle and get some money from him. The sergeant becomes a valet, the prostitutes become cooks, servants, and a companion. The hero and heroine become pretend-husband and wife. It was all very convoluted…and it didn’t work!
9.    Another disguise plan! From The Perfect Kiss by Anne Gracie. Grace Merridew plans to dye her hair and pretend to be a servant. I’m not sure why she needed to dye her hair, but then most of the plan didn’t make sense. Anyway, Grace pretends to be a servant because her bestest friend Molly is being forced to marry Dominic. Dominic doesn’t want children, Molly does. So, Grace dresses up like a servant/maid to Molly so she can do something…not sure what. Except for cleaning the chamber pots, I’m not sure how Grace’s plan was supposed to work, especially when it is Grace who Dominic becomes interested in, not Molly.
10.    And the winner is…. Aden’s plan from Suzanne Enoch’s, Scot Under Covers. Yes, Aden has a Romanceland Plan, but it’s a secret!!! He is so arrogant; he doesn’t tell anyone what he’s doing. He has them doing things for him, but he never lets anyone in on the secret plan! Aarrgh! Congratulations on the secret plan! And, congratulations on winning the first Romanceland Plan

And now for the award you’ve all been waiting for. It’s like the Oscar for best picture isn’t it…sort of. Well, maybe not. Yes, yes, yes, it’s time for the 2020 Timothy Toad Award! It’s time to honor those bulges, protrusions, and tents in pants. Sometimes they are eye catching, and sometimes you just wonder how some things are still attached. How can some of those Toads still be in working order, and not shriveled by some disease?

Timothy Toad Award for 2020
1.    In Elisa Braden’s, The Truth about Cads and Dukes, we have a Timothy Toad who is completely out of control. Our mature, stiff-neck hero, just cannot control is wacky giant toad. We don’t know why he can’t control it, because we are not given too much insight into his brain. Not the toad’s brain, but the hero’s brain.
2.    Another Elisa Braden book. This time it’s The Madness of Viscount Atherbourn. This guy is a real bonehead. He’s arrogant, and he’s out for revenge. Lucien is a real piece of work, and his Timothy Toad must be too. No matter how badly Lucien treats our heroine, she is mesmerized by his magic flute. She just cannot get enough of the puffy, one-eye guy. Page after page of yes, no, yes, no, yes. No wonder Timothy was confused.
3.    See what happens when you glom. Yes, another Elisa Braden book is nominated for an award. This time it’s When a Girl Loves an Earl. We have a biggggg one! Yes, James is at least eight feet tall! Everything about him is big. His hands, feet, toes, fingers…and other appendages. Too bad the heroine wasn’t a better heroine, because this huge Timothy Toad was wasted.
4.    The lonely Mr. Toad from Valerie Bowman’s, The Footman and I.  Lucas’s Mr. Toad is the only thing in this book who was fully developed. I think he must have realized how boring everyone in the story was, because he kept trying to escape.
5.    Another oldie. From the 1996 Minx, by Julia Quinn. Dunford has no control over anything in this book, including his Timothy Toad. It was alllll very amusing.
6.    We have a very sensitive Mr. Toad from Slightly Sinful by Mary Balogh. He’s so sensitive he can recognize a virgin just by the slightest touch. For some reason, I don’t think these guys are all that sensitive.
7.    Beware of Bonehead Heroes with twitching Timothy Toads. Especially when they twitch at the sight of a woman who isn’t engaged to them. Welcome to a very dishonorable toad from The Perfect Kiss, by Anne Gracie
8.    And the winner is: All the Mr. Toads from The Arrangement, by Sylvia Day, Minerva Spencer, and Kristin Vayden. Sometimes there is just tooooo much mind-numbing activation of hippidy-hopping toads. Sometimes there are toooo many bananas peeled, too many oranges squeezed. There was so much whankee-woo in this book, there wasn’t a story. If we put choir robes on these guys, I bet they could sing. That would be a sight for sore eyes.

And, it’s over. It’s time to say get thee gone 2020. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out! Here’s hoping that 2021 will bring us a better year. My wish for this year is that we are all still here, and enjoying the books we love so much. It’s been a rough year, and I’m looking forward to being in a crowd, looking up at the sky and watching the stars together.

Anyone but a Duke by Betina Krahn

January 14, 2020

"If I conferred with our furry friends, man to animal
Think of the amazing repartee
If I could walk with the animals, talk with the animals
Grunt and squeak and squawk with the animals
And they could talk to me" - Leslie Bricusse

https://betinakrahn.com/
Anyone but a Duke is the last book in Betina Krahn’s Sin and Sensibility series. While I am excited to see Betina Krahn wielding her pen again, her latest series was a little underwhelming. Ms. Krahn is one of those authors who I hold to higher expectations. She has been around for a while. She is what I would call a veteran, and is responsible for some of my favorite “old” romance books. Although, I will admit that when I recently reread her old classic Caught in the Act, it did not pass the test of time. It melted down in the Way-back machine. Back to Anyone but a Duke. Be warned, there is a large amount of plausibility stretching in this story.

Anyone but a Duke returns us to those wild and woolly cowpoke girls, the Baumgarten sisters. This story is about the youngest sister, Sarah. When the story begins, she is in the process of having her feelings hurt by one of her suitors. She believed he was the man for her, she thought he was in luvvvv with her. However, Sarah is not wise to the way of the aristocracy. Evidently, inheriting an Earldom turns her suitor into a worm, and he dumps the brash American for an Italian heiress. Sarah is embarrassed. She decides to leave London and hide out at her brother-in-law’s estate. She has had enough of the backbiting society world. She is off to the country! Did I mention she was nineteen, her brother-in-law and sister are not at the estate, and she is going without any chaperones? Not only that, but once she gets there she notices that the estate is in shambles. As any nineteen-year-old girl would do, she takes over the management of the estate, and in just a matter of months, she is getting everything in order. It would seem that servants and village people do not have any trouble following the orders of a teenager. A teenager, by the way, who is not the owner of the property, nor do they have the authority to manage said property. Not only that, she is an American teenager and she’s giving orders to British servants/villagers/farmers/cow-herders/etc. That whole scenario was one big hurdle to jump. Dare I say it was ludicrous?  I do not care if it was the 1890s. Let’s take that scenario out of the past and bring it into our age. Seriously, would any of us take orders from a nineteen year old who has no experience, and who does not have the authority to make changes to the land/property/whatever? “What’s that you say little lady? You want to build a new roof. Sure, sure! I’ll get right on it! You’re going to get the money from where? No proble-mo! By the way, just who are you?”  I can only arrive at the conclusion that Sarah was a Vulcan who could control people with a mind-meld. But it is not just people. She also has a way with animals. Not just a way, but a waaaay.

Sarah communes with the animals, she sings, she dances, she whispers, and they follow her around. All of them fighting just to get close to her. It’s probably the peanut butter she wears behind her pointy ears. There was one particular scene in this book, which reminded me of Disney’s Snow White cleaning the dwarf’s house. That was the scene where Snow White sang while allll the animals helped her. Not only is she super-duper with the animals, and bends servants to her will, she can heal human gunshot victims. Enter our hero, Arthur.

Now on to another convoluted plot: Arthur. The estate Sarah is saving, Betancourt, belongs to her brother-in-law – sort of. Her brother-in-law, Ashton, was the hero from A Good Day to Marry a Duke. Ashton married Sarah’s sister Daisy. Daisy had set her sights on Ashton’s brother Arthur, the Duke of Meridian. But, in the end she decided Ashton was her man. I guess Arthur had his heart broken, so he decided to leave, and journey the world. In his absence, he left Ashton with the responsibility of managing the estate.  He also said that if he didn’t return in six years Ashton would be the Duke, or something like that. I would think that Arthur would have to be declared legally dead for that to happen. However, I am not a solicitor, or a lawyer. Anyway, it seems that neither brother is alllll that responsible. Arthur is off seeing the world and Ashton is off touring America with his new wife. Both brothers are ignoring the poor starving people on their estate. Then Arthur disappears, his family thinks he is dead. Does anyone try to find him? Not that I know of. Nah, Ashton is too busy showing off in America to take the time to find his brother, or help the struggling people at Betancourt. In the meantime, Arthur’s tour of the world is not turning out to be what he wanted. He is kidnapped, imprisoned, works for a pirate, escapes, is captured, imprisoned, then escapes again. He does not let anyone know he is alive. True, there weren’t smartphones then, but this story takes place in the 1890s, and there were telegraphs strung across continents, there were telephone systems, there were postal deliveries, and don’t forget about those carrier pigeons. There had to have been a way for Arthur to communicate to someone that he was still alive. In the meantime, people are starving back at Betancourt, houses are falling down, and cows are drying up. However, then super-duper girl shows up to save the day. Then one day while she was walking along talking to the squirrels, she stumbles across an injured stranger. She takes him back to Betancourt, puts him in his old bed and treats him. Of course, she does not remember him; she was only thirteen the last time she saw him. However, he looks mighty familiar. Arthur, on the other hand remembers her. Does he tell her who he is? Oh, you silly-willies, of course not!

If it were just Arthur and Sarah, I might have bought into the story, but there were a whole lot of other things going on. There was an obvious villain. He looks, tastes, smells, and acts like a villain. However, Sarah and Arthur do not catch on. There are gangs of house and stable burning, scum-sucking, hoodlums, who are out to disrupt the peaceful village. I never quite understood a secondary-secondary bad-guy-good-guy. Even in the end, I was puzzled as to whether he was protecting Sarah, or trying to kill her. There were Ashton and Daisy returning from America, and trying to explain their neglect of Betancourt. There was Daisy’s mother, who was over-protective in all the other books, but did not seem to care that her nineteen-year-old daughter was managing an estate miles, and miles away. And, of course there was Uncle Red.

This story was an “if-only story”.  If only the heroine was older, and/or chaperoned. If only the heroine was not such a super-duper girl. If only the hero was honest about his identity. If only Ashton had lived up to his hero status from the previous books. If only the villains were not in the book. If only someone cared about the poor villagers, someone with the authority to do so. While Sarah and Arthur had possibilities, the rest of the story was a convoluted narrative, and it did not live up to my expectations. Sorry to say, the last book in this series was a disappointment for me. As much as it pains me to say, I cannot recommend it. 

Time/Place: 1890s England
Sensuality:Warm

The Legend of Lyon Redmond by Julie Anne Long

October 9, 2015

Spoiler: They lived happily ever after...uh, then they died.

http://www.julieannelong.com/

Many spoilers ahead. In case you don't know it by now, alllll those heroes and heroines who had happy endings in allll those historical romance books you've been reading over the years are now no longer with us. Of course, they never were because they are fictional, but that's beside the point. So just so you know, they are allll dead.

Where to begin - where to begin - ponder. Once again I find myself in the minority. I am confessing now, I am one of those people who did not care for The Legend of Lyon Redmond. In fact, when I was finished with this book I was deeply disturbed. We should be able to explore these disturbances because I made a plethora of notes while I was reading.

I will also get this out of the way: I stumbled over a number of typos, in this case words that were missing. I even had an entire page that was not there. So, somewhere, someone wasn't watching-editing-whatever or doing their job. Did I call customer service? No. I really don't have time to deal with the person on the other end. But my electronic copy was a careless representation of an author's hard work.

Now, back to The Legend of Lyon Redmond. I confess, I confess! I wanted John, Lord Lansdowne to get the girl. Of course, I knew that the author probably would never go in that direction. I was anticipating that with this book I would be presented with a very very good reason for Lyon and Olivia being together besides the fact that was what the original outline said. Sometimes an author's initial intentions at the beginning of a series doesn't always work when that series ends. Characters and dynamics take over occasionally and the direction of the story changes. The path originally intended is lost and a new one begins - but then the author still goes down the old path. For me, going down the old path of Olivia and Lyon being together didn't work.

The Legend of Lyon Redmond is partly told through the use of flashbacks. I have nothing against flashbacks, sometimes they work sometimes they don't. In this case they sort of work because we get to see a very young Lyon and an even younger Olivia falling in teenage love/lust. It overwhelms them. I was unable to find anything in their relationship but the lust part. I was never able to comprehend any insight into why they love each other or, for that matter why they like each other. While we do get to see how Olivia thinks, we hardly ever get to see Lyon's introspective. Maybe if I had been able to see more of Lyon's thought process I would have liked it better, but he was pretty much a closed book.

So, anyway Lyon and Olivia fall in love/lust at a dance. They are bowled over. They cannot think about anyone or thing but each other. They are also very young. It is Tony and Maria at the dance, only there aren't any Jets and Sharks to do the tap dancing. Then we get to see more of Ton...ur...Lyon and Olivia meeting in secret and the relationship moves from touching each others hands to touching other things. But never the final binga-bang. Lyon decides to tell his father, Isaiah, that he intends to marry Olivia. Isaiah, being Isaiah, says if you do, I will cease all monetary support. Lyon walks out on his father, stalks over to Olivia's place, throws pebbles at her window, and then proposes. Contrary to what he believes will happen, Olivia starts asking question -wayyyyy beyond her years by the way. Questions such as: What will we live on? What will we eat? Where will we live? Who will be our friends? What about our families? Well, evidently that isn't the response Lyon wanted and he becomes really enraged. He stomps off and out of Olivia life in a fit of spoiled-boy temper-tantrum. In the next five years he becomes many things: a pirate, a privateer, an owner of a plantation, a spy, an owner of an estate in Cadiz - he becomes wealthy. Does he attempt to contact Olivia through the years? Does he remain faithful to Olivia? Does he expect her to remain faithful to him? No, no and yes. What a guy.

I never understood why he would hold a grudge for so long. Especially over something so mundane, so logical. And, because I was never given the ability to follow Lyon and his exploits through those five years I was not inclined to like him. I will say this though - I was not upset that he couldn't keep his Mr. Toad inside of his trousers through those five years. I think it's unrealistic to expect a person to remain celibate for five years, especially when supposedly they have moved on. But, what irritated me was that our heroine, Olivia mooned, daydreamed, withdrew, didn't so much as glance at another guy through that time period. Then when she finally breaks free of her boo-hoo-I-cannot-live-without-Lyon mood and became engaged to John and dares to "kiss" him, Lyon lashes out. Lyon makes his grand entrance and has the nerve to berate her for "kissing" her fiancé once...once! Uhggggg, I did not like Lyon.

What is love all about? At no time in this story did I ever discover just why Lyon and Olivia loved each other. Oh sure, I understood the mad crazy lust hormone part, but love...nah. Didn't see it. I especially didn't see Lyon as loveable, he was actually quite a bonehead.

Cadiz.  Lyon kidnaps Olivia and takes her to his big old house in Cadiz where there are waterfalls, beaches and swimming holes. You can run naked in all that water, sand and rocks. You can have mad passionate crazy whankee-roo there! Who cares if you’re engaged to someone else? Who cares if that someone else is the nicest person ever? Not Olivia, that's for sure. She does occasionally feel bad, 'cause she knows what it's like to be hurt and she would never ever ever want to do that to someone else. But who can resist Lyon in the water hole? Not Olivia. Of course, there is a fly in the ointment. After weeks and weeks of humping and bumping in the water Lyon tells Olivia he is sending her back to England. Without him. If she really really really wants him she must fight for him. Fight for him! OMG, is there a ringing in my ears? Why should she! You remember her, Olivia, the girl you left behind. You know the one you didn't say boo to for five long years! She has to fight for you! AAAAkkkk! Why!

By the way, did anybody do anything to prevent any kind of disease or baby-boo-hoo during Cadiz? I don’t remember any Lyon spills on the sacred stomach.

John. Now Olivia has returned to England after her little water escapade. John is one of the nicest secondary characters we've been introduced to in Romanceland. He could have been a wonderful hero. But since he's so nice, I guess it's ok to just step all over him. If Olivia had told John as soon as she saw him that she needed to break their engagement I wouldn't have been so revolted. But that isn't what she did. She waited until she is in front of everyone in Pennyroyal, after John has said yes he will take this woman to be his wife, to drop her bomb shell. I cannot tell you how much I detested this part of the book. If I hadn't been so close to the end, this book would have hit the wall. But the damage had already been done, and this horribly painful book moment will join some other memorable horrible-feel-bad book moments in by brain.  This left an unpleasant taste in my mouth, but there was more to come.

The epilogue. Yes, there was an epilogue in The Legend of Lyon Redmond. It takes place in the future and we have a contemporary woman visiting England finding her roots - in the cemetery. She is descended from the Redmonds, she also meets a man who is descended from them and through their conversation we get to hear about what happened to all of the characters we had grown to love in Pennyroyal - well almost all of them - not John. Anyway, it seems they all die. Who would have thunk it? A HEA doesn't mean people die, it means they just fade away...like Douglas MacArthur. Not only do all the Pennyroyal heroes and heroines die but we also find out that one of the main secondary characters has been murdered at some point in the past. What? Why? What? I sputter. I thought epilogues were supposed to resolve everything.

To say I was disappointed in this book, the last of the Pennyroyal series is an understatement. I was disturbed by Olivia's callus treatment of John. I didn't find anything redeeming about either Lyon or Olivia. The ending was distasteful to me in so many ways. While I enjoyed most of the books in this series, for me this final story wasn’t on par with the rest of them. While others may be happy that Lyon and Olivia are finally back in each others arms; for me, there were just too many backs that were stabbed on the way to those arms. I found this book distressing.

Time/Place: 1820s England
Sensuality: Hot

The Duke's Obsession Bundle by Grace Burrowes - The Heir - The Soldier - The Virtuoso

January 11, 2016

"Atsa fine I'll have a nice cold glassa lemonade."  
- Chico Marx, Duck Soup
http://graceburrowes.com/  
After finishing the wonderful Captive Love series by Grace Burrowes, I decided to delve into her debut series about the Windham family. According to her website, Ms. Burrowes was/is quite a prolific writer and had 20 or so books under her belt before she became published. That's a boat load of books and connected characters! I'm very happy she's been published. Here's the deal - the first three in the debut series needed an editor or a writing buddy or someone to say, "whoa, I know all of your words are like babies you've given birth to, but really, you need to cut some.”

Let's do some exploring of these three books, The Heir, The Soldier, and The Virtuoso, starting with The Heir.

Rubbing my hands together and chuckling with glee I started to read The Heir. The Heir begins with a bang, especially when one considers the hero is bonked over the head by the heroine. Knocked out cold. Yes, our heroine, Anne Seaton clobbers Gayle, Earl of Westhaven over the head because she thinks he is abusing a housemaid. Now, this could be a problem. You see, she's his housekeeper and one should probably not knock ones employer out. Not good for employee/employer relationships and all that. Anyway, Anne realizes she may have been mistaken and decides to play nursemaid to Gayle. Maybe he won't fire her if she helps him recover.  Once he is awake and on the slow road to recovery, a romance slowly starts to take place. Of course there is always a rough road to romance and this one is no different.

Gayle is hiding out from his father's manipulations. His father wants grandchildren and he doesn't really care how he goes about it. Even going so far as to employ Gayle's latest mistress into becoming pregnant.  Anyway, Gayle is hiding out at his estate. As you may know, in Romanceland both the male and female leads have to have problems and a manipulating father seems to be Gayle's. Anne is the one with the biggest problem because she has a secret - a bigggg secret. Be warned, this is one of the pattern's I found in the Windhams series. It is always the female lead who has the dark deep secret, the one that is more troubling, and the one that makes all of these women skate close to being TSTL.

As much as I loved the Captive series, I could not find it in my heart to love these three stories. The Heir started out well and I was thrilled. In the beginning I loved the hero and heroine, but then something happened about three fourths of the way through. The story just kept going and going and going. When I perceive a story has reached its ending but it keeps on going, then I find myself becoming irritated with things that only a few pages ago were acceptable.

Lemonade. Let's start with the lemonade. Just how many lemon trees were growing on Westhaven's estate? Every time you turned around Anne was breaking out the lemonade. This is Regency times for Pete sake, it's not as if one has a container of Country Time instant lemonade handy. We are talking real lemons. Squeezing and squeezing and squeezing tons of those little yellow things. I used to watch my dad make lemonade. It takes tons of lemons to make just one pitcher of lemonade. The amount of lemons Anne had to go through must have been phenomenal. She must have had some mighty strong digits - they came in handy later. Let's move from the oral fixations of lemonade to the romance irritates.

Trust and hy-po-cri-sy. A lot of times in romance novels trust and hypocrisy walk hand and hand. Oh no! Say it ain't so! Yes, my little petunias, I say trust and hy-po-cri-sy! Anne has trust issues, and, she should, because her brother is a real piece of work. But she can't seem to trust her employer, Gayle, who is a nice guy and with whom she falls in love. Even though she's falling in love with him, even though she's allowing him intimacies, even though she allows him to brush her hair, even though she spreads her wings wide - she cannot trust him. It was a continual lovely scene followed by I can’t' trust you. It went on waaaay toooo long.

And, what's with a servant allowing her employer to brush her hair? If you are looking for any kind of historical accuracy, look elsewhere. The lines between servant and master are nonexistence and this story stretches a lot of boundaries. But, I can allow for historical inaccuracies. I can believe a relationship between servant and master. I read Julia Quinn after all. But there was tooo much of a struggle to get to the end. There was just too much churning of the same things over and over again. The not knowing when to end was too bad, because there were some mighty lyrical words in this book. But those find words were overshadowed by one too many chapters.

On to the next in the series, The Soldier.  
Be warned: I had numerous digressing moments when I read this story. This tale is about Devlin St. Just, the illegitimate son of Percival Windham, the Duke of Moreland and the half-brother of Gayle from The Heir. For our heroine we have Emmaline Farnum who lives on the Rosecroft estate and is a guardian to Winnie, the previous Earl of Rosecroft's by-blow. Through some kind of legal maneuvering, which we didn't get to read - thank goodness - Devlin is now the new Earl of Rosecroft. By the way, the old Earl of Rosecroft was the villain in the last piece.

As with the other book, our heroine, Emmie has a dark secret and she cries all the time and she is tired and has unexplained bruises which have nothing to do with the story. She makes apple tarts and lemonade. Oh no - not lemonade! She also thinks she is a proper guardian for the six-year-old Winnie. Winnie, for some reason, is a wild creature. Digressing question: if one thinks one is a proper guardian for a - say, a six-year-old, would said proper guardian leave that child with a perfect stranger? A male stranger? Of course, they have dinner together for about an hour or so and he does have big thighs, so I guess it's ok to leave a child with somebody one doesn't know.

By the way, the estate Devlin's father maneuvered for him was pretty run down - thanks a lot dad.

The Soldier is almost a carbon copy of The Heir. It started out good, then just kind of ran out of steam and the same old song and dance routine of trusting someone enough to confide in came into play. So, we had another woman who has her hair brushed, cries and doesn't trust someone but is willing to jump into bed with that person.

On to another distraction. I call this my touchy-feely distraction. I confess: I do not come from a touchy-feely family, and none of my friends are touchy-feely. When I come across it, I think "oh isn't that nice." But in this book there were some eye-brow raised moments. One of them involves Devlin and his brother. Devlin's head on his brother's lap and his hair being caressed. Touchy-feely. Odd. But another one came into play with Devlin's friend Douglas and the rubbing of the lotion. It just had an odd feel about it. I like buddies in books. I like the male comrades who would do anything for their friends. But most of those guys don't touch each other. That's a whole different kind of romance, one I don't have anything against by the way. It's just this time it didn't feel right. Even when we are talking about shared war memories. I think back to two of my friends who were in a war together - one was a sniper and one awarded a Purple Heart. So, these two friends had some pretty intense things happen to them. With all of the pain they shared and the bond that was between them, they were not touchy-feely; they didn't have to be. The presence of their friendship, the support they gave each other became the "touch" between them. 

While The Soldier once again had wonderful language, the story went on too long and everything that made it good was lost. The conflicts just kept on churning. The heroine cried and was tired and made lemonade and apple tarts and just could not confide to the man she loved.

The Virtuoso
On to the third brother, Valentine. Valentine plays the piano, he is a virtuoso, hence the title The Virtuoso. However his hand is swollen and painful. He has been told by his doctor that

the hand needs to rest, so he goes off to a run-down country estates and starts doing physical labor. How that "rests" his hands I was never able to figure out. It must be the cream that our heroine made and rubbed on it. Her name is Ellen, Baroness Roxbury and guess what. She has a dark deep secret. A guilty secret. Something she blames herself for. Something which when it is revealed I had a "you have got to be kidding me" moment. "How could you possibly blame yourself?" AAArrrgh.

This is basically a repeat of the other two books, except the names are different. Although, there wasn't as much lemonade in this one. But there was a lack of historical feel about it, a lack of proper space between the main characters. And, we have a friend unbuttoning another friends pants in this one. Not sure why, doesn't add anything to the story.

Adding things to stories. I am of the opinion that unless one is going to use something later on in the story, its presence in the book is a waste of time. It's filler. If it doesn't add to the atmosphere, the smell, the time period, it isn't necessary to add it.

Our couple Valentine and Ellen shared a kiss a year before the story begins. It is a kiss which neither of them can forget. And, it seems to have lessened the 19th century principles of these two people. There is a certain 21st century easygoing feel to this book. They bare their feet, roll up their pant-legs/dress and splash around in a pond. While the conversation between them was lovely, the scene was improbable and my eyebrows went up. Ellen was a hot and cold person when it came to propriety. He couldn't use her given name, but they could make love in the open air.

There were a lot of characters in this book, and that was a tad bit overwhelming. As with the other two books, the ending was in the wrong place. The guilt trip, the angst, the boo-hoo went on waaay too long. The couple was engaging and their language was lyrical, but then they are thrown into a situation that is problematic historically and all that loveliness gets lost.

Bottom line. I'm very glad I started with the Captive series and True Gentleman series and not this one. I know from reading those two series that Ms. Burrowes can write up a storm, but The Heir, The Soldier and The Virtuoso were a miss for me.

Time/Place: Regency England
Sensuality: Hot

The Heir - The Soldier - The Virtuoso