2020…
”We starve-look
At one another
Short of breath
Walking proudly in our winter coats
Wearing smells from laboratories
Facing a dying nation
Of moving paper fantasy
Listening for the new told lies
With supreme visions of lonely tunes
Somewhere
Inside something there is a rush of
Greatness
Who knows what stands in front of
Our lives
I fashion my future on films in space
Silence
Tells me secretly
Everything
Manchester England England
Across the Atlantic Sea
Arms take your last embrace
And I'm a genius genius
I believe in God
And I believe that God believes in Claude
That's me, that's me, that's me
The rest is silence
We starve-look
At one another
Short of breath
Walking proudly in our winter coats
Wearing smells from laboratories
Facing a dying nation
Of moving paper fantasy
Listening for the new told lies
With supreme visions of lonely tunes
Singing
Our space songs on a spider web sitar
Life is around you and in you
Answer for Timothy Leary, dearie
Let the sunshine
Let the sunshine in
The sunshine in
Let the sunshine
Let the sunshine in
The sunshine in
Let the sunshine
Let the sunshine in
The sun shine in...”
At one another
Short of breath
Walking proudly in our winter coats
Wearing smells from laboratories
Facing a dying nation
Of moving paper fantasy
Listening for the new told lies
With supreme visions of lonely tunes
Somewhere
Inside something there is a rush of
Greatness
Who knows what stands in front of
Our lives
I fashion my future on films in space
Silence
Tells me secretly
Everything
Manchester England England
Across the Atlantic Sea
Arms take your last embrace
And I'm a genius genius
I believe in God
And I believe that God believes in Claude
That's me, that's me, that's me
The rest is silence
We starve-look
At one another
Short of breath
Walking proudly in our winter coats
Wearing smells from laboratories
Facing a dying nation
Of moving paper fantasy
Listening for the new told lies
With supreme visions of lonely tunes
Singing
Our space songs on a spider web sitar
Life is around you and in you
Answer for Timothy Leary, dearie
Let the sunshine
Let the sunshine in
The sunshine in
Let the sunshine
Let the sunshine in
The sunshine in
Let the sunshine
Let the sunshine in
The sun shine in...”
Hair… Gerome Ragni, James Rado, Galt MacDermot
2021
I think I can speak for almost everyone…I for one am glad to see the last of 2020. I only hope that sometime the coming year we are all able to stand together and cheer. I think what I’m most looking forward to is being in a crowd and smiling. I don’t think it matters too much what I’m smiling at, as long as we are doing it together. There’s just something about staring up at the skies and everyone going aaahhhhh.
As far as books, this was mostly a disappointing year for me. I kept looking for a new author to cheer me up, but alas, twas’ not to be. I found myself turning more and more to my old stand-by books.
Voices we have lost this year: Mary Higgins Clark, Sheila Connelly, Clive Cussler, Karen Harper, Donna Kaufman, Barbara Neely, Susan Sizemore, Carlos Ruiz Zafon.
Debut authors who have shown up on my radar: Sophie Cousens, Alexandria Bellefleur, Denise Williams, Elysia Whisler, Rosie Danan, Bethany Bennett, Jenny Bayliss, Barb Curtis, Kristen McKanah, Jane Igharo, Rachel Givney, Chloe James, Krista Jensen, Brianne Moore, Annabelle Greene, Lily Menon, Fiona Knightley, Georgia Toffolo, Lizzie O’Hagan, Heidi Catherine, Marie Lipscomb, Krysta Fox, Jane Ver Mulm, Chelle Sloan, Fiona Rivers, Lisa Bent, Tina Rischlynn, Kit Hawthorne, Juliana Wight, Lola West. Good luck to all of you.
2020 Outstanding List. As I mentioned earlier, this was a hard year for me when it came to finding that special book. I found myself turning more and more to my old beloved stories. Thanks to all you authors who brought a smile to my lips. And, thanks to all of you authors who have brought some brightness into our world.
2020 Outstanding (In no particular order):
1. My Last Duchess, Eloisa James, 2020
2. My Kind of Earl, Vivienne Lorret, 2020
3. Beauty Tempts the Beast, by Lorraine Heath, 2020
4. About a Rogue, by Caroline Linden, 2020
5. A Dangerous Kind of Lady, by Mia Vincy, 2020
6. Redeeming the Elusive Earl, by Virginia Heath, 2020
7. Slightly Married, by Mary Balogh, 2003
8. Slightly Scandalous, by Mary Balogh, 2003
9. Slightly Dangerous, by Mary Balogh, 2004
10. The Perfect Waltz, by Anne Gracie, 2005
11. The Perfect Stranger, by Anne Gracie, 2006
12. First Comes Scandal, by Julia Quinn, 2020
13. Mr. Impossible, by Loretta Chase, 2005
14. Last Nights Scandal, by Loretta Chase, 2010
15. The Secret Mistress, by Mary Balogh, 2011
16. The Christmas Bride, by Anne Gracie, 2020
Disappointing books of 2020. First of all, an author does not have to be a bad writer to appear on my list of disappointing books. Let’s remember who this is all about…me, me, me. These are my disappointing books. There could be all kinds of reasons why a book makes it to this list, and they are my reasons. Maybe a number of my hot buttons were activated. Maybe it was a book which didn’t stand up to the test of time. Maybe I’m just human, and what someone else loves I don’t. Of course, there could be a problem with the writing, but then again that’s all subjective. There could be a problem with the editing, or the narrative, but then again, it’s – repeat after me – all about me, me, me. This does not mean I have crossed a particular author off of my list, it’s just a particular book, at a particular time was not a winner.
2020 disappointments (in no particular order)
1. Duke I’d like to F…,Sierra Simone, Joanna Shupe, Eva Leigh, Nicola Davidson, Adriana Herrera, 2020
2. Ten Kisses to Scandal, Vivienne Lorret, 2018
3. The Absolutely Positively Worst Man in England, Scotland, and Wales, by Anne Stuart, 2020
4. Someone to Romance, by Mary Balogh, 2020
5. A Kiss from a Rogue, by Elisa Braden, 2019
6. Desperately Seeking a Scoundrel, by Elisa Braden, 2015
7. The Madness of Viscount Atherbourn, by Elisa Braden, 2015
8. When a Girl Loves an Earl, by Elisa Braden, 2015
9. The Footman and I, by Valerie Bowman, 2020
10. A Royal Kiss and Tell, by Julia London, 2020
11. Splendid, by Julia Quinn, 1995
12. Dancing at Midnight, by Julia Quinn, 1995
13. How to Catch an Errant Earl, by Amy Rose Bennett, 2020
14. Simply Unforgettable, 2005, Simply Love, 2006, Simply Magic, 2007, Simply Perfect, 2008 by Mary Balogh
15. The Perfect Kiss, by Anne Gracie, 2007
16. The Earl Not Taken, by A.S. Fenichel, 2020
17. No Man’s Mistress, by Mary Balogh, 2001
18. Anyone but a Duke, by Betina Krahn, 2020
On to my prestigious awards.
No More Wire Hangers, aka 2020 Mommie Dearest Award.
I think I can speak for almost everyone…I for one am glad to see the last of 2020. I only hope that sometime the coming year we are all able to stand together and cheer. I think what I’m most looking forward to is being in a crowd and smiling. I don’t think it matters too much what I’m smiling at, as long as we are doing it together. There’s just something about staring up at the skies and everyone going aaahhhhh.
As far as books, this was mostly a disappointing year for me. I kept looking for a new author to cheer me up, but alas, twas’ not to be. I found myself turning more and more to my old stand-by books.
Voices we have lost this year: Mary Higgins Clark, Sheila Connelly, Clive Cussler, Karen Harper, Donna Kaufman, Barbara Neely, Susan Sizemore, Carlos Ruiz Zafon.
Debut authors who have shown up on my radar: Sophie Cousens, Alexandria Bellefleur, Denise Williams, Elysia Whisler, Rosie Danan, Bethany Bennett, Jenny Bayliss, Barb Curtis, Kristen McKanah, Jane Igharo, Rachel Givney, Chloe James, Krista Jensen, Brianne Moore, Annabelle Greene, Lily Menon, Fiona Knightley, Georgia Toffolo, Lizzie O’Hagan, Heidi Catherine, Marie Lipscomb, Krysta Fox, Jane Ver Mulm, Chelle Sloan, Fiona Rivers, Lisa Bent, Tina Rischlynn, Kit Hawthorne, Juliana Wight, Lola West. Good luck to all of you.
2020 Outstanding List. As I mentioned earlier, this was a hard year for me when it came to finding that special book. I found myself turning more and more to my old beloved stories. Thanks to all you authors who brought a smile to my lips. And, thanks to all of you authors who have brought some brightness into our world.
2020 Outstanding (In no particular order):
1. My Last Duchess, Eloisa James, 2020
2. My Kind of Earl, Vivienne Lorret, 2020
3. Beauty Tempts the Beast, by Lorraine Heath, 2020
4. About a Rogue, by Caroline Linden, 2020
5. A Dangerous Kind of Lady, by Mia Vincy, 2020
6. Redeeming the Elusive Earl, by Virginia Heath, 2020
7. Slightly Married, by Mary Balogh, 2003
8. Slightly Scandalous, by Mary Balogh, 2003
9. Slightly Dangerous, by Mary Balogh, 2004
10. The Perfect Waltz, by Anne Gracie, 2005
11. The Perfect Stranger, by Anne Gracie, 2006
12. First Comes Scandal, by Julia Quinn, 2020
13. Mr. Impossible, by Loretta Chase, 2005
14. Last Nights Scandal, by Loretta Chase, 2010
15. The Secret Mistress, by Mary Balogh, 2011
16. The Christmas Bride, by Anne Gracie, 2020
Disappointing books of 2020. First of all, an author does not have to be a bad writer to appear on my list of disappointing books. Let’s remember who this is all about…me, me, me. These are my disappointing books. There could be all kinds of reasons why a book makes it to this list, and they are my reasons. Maybe a number of my hot buttons were activated. Maybe it was a book which didn’t stand up to the test of time. Maybe I’m just human, and what someone else loves I don’t. Of course, there could be a problem with the writing, but then again that’s all subjective. There could be a problem with the editing, or the narrative, but then again, it’s – repeat after me – all about me, me, me. This does not mean I have crossed a particular author off of my list, it’s just a particular book, at a particular time was not a winner.
2020 disappointments (in no particular order)
1. Duke I’d like to F…,Sierra Simone, Joanna Shupe, Eva Leigh, Nicola Davidson, Adriana Herrera, 2020
2. Ten Kisses to Scandal, Vivienne Lorret, 2018
3. The Absolutely Positively Worst Man in England, Scotland, and Wales, by Anne Stuart, 2020
4. Someone to Romance, by Mary Balogh, 2020
5. A Kiss from a Rogue, by Elisa Braden, 2019
6. Desperately Seeking a Scoundrel, by Elisa Braden, 2015
7. The Madness of Viscount Atherbourn, by Elisa Braden, 2015
8. When a Girl Loves an Earl, by Elisa Braden, 2015
9. The Footman and I, by Valerie Bowman, 2020
10. A Royal Kiss and Tell, by Julia London, 2020
11. Splendid, by Julia Quinn, 1995
12. Dancing at Midnight, by Julia Quinn, 1995
13. How to Catch an Errant Earl, by Amy Rose Bennett, 2020
14. Simply Unforgettable, 2005, Simply Love, 2006, Simply Magic, 2007, Simply Perfect, 2008 by Mary Balogh
15. The Perfect Kiss, by Anne Gracie, 2007
16. The Earl Not Taken, by A.S. Fenichel, 2020
17. No Man’s Mistress, by Mary Balogh, 2001
18. Anyone but a Duke, by Betina Krahn, 2020
On to my prestigious awards.
No More Wire Hangers, aka 2020 Mommie Dearest Award.
You know, there always seems to be plenty of bad relatives hanging around in Romanceland. This award is given to alllll bad relatives, not just mothers. These bad relatives are lurking behind many pages, just waiting to make our heroine or hero miserable. In some cases, the hero can never luv another woman because of something his mother did. After all of these years, I’m not sure which one of these relatives I find the most disturbing. They can be oblivious fathers, conniving mothers, wastrel brothers, self-centered sisters, or spoiled cousins. It doesn’t matter, and usually their punishment is never enough. As much as I would like otherwise, there always seem to be bullying relatives just waiting behind that closed door.
My nominations for 2020:
1. From Vivienne Lorret’s, My Kind of Earl, we have Jane’s parents. Jane is forced to do all the parenting due to the fact that she has a pair of narcissistic parents. It’s ok for these parents to have tons of children, then ignore them.
2. Evie Dunmore’s father of the hero, from A Rogue of One’s Own. This guy is pretty much a monster. He threatens the hero, Tristin, with locking up Tristin’s mother in an asylum, if Tristin doesn’t’ do what he wants.
3. The father from Caroline Linden’s, About a Rogue is a real bonehead. Yes, it’s possible for parents to be boneheads. This father treats his daughter horribly, and all the time all she wants is his affection. It’s pretty pathetic. This is a case where the father got off lightly.
4. In Anne Gracie’s, Marry in Scarlet, has a manipulator mother to end all manipulators. And because of her, her son can never trust, believe, or luv a woman.
5. Another father, who has waaay too much hold over his adult son in Julia Quinn’s, First Come Scandal.
6. Oh no! Say it ain’t so! Every year since this series began, this mother has made my list. Yes, it’s Francesca, Lady Aldriss from Suzanne Enoch’s, Scot Under Covers. Yes, she’s still a horrible mother. She’s still blackmailing her sons into submission, and then wondering why they don’t like her. Not only does Francesca make it to our list, but the winner of this year’s Mommie Dearest comes from the same book.
7. From Suzanne Enoch’s, Scot Under the Covers, the truly loathsome brother Mathew. Mathew actually sells his sister to a slimy toad. And, because of that, Mathew is the winner of the Mommie Dearest winner this year. Congratulations Mathew – you stink!
2020 Steve Morgan Bonehead Hero Award.
Ah yes, the hero we love to hate. He is usually an alpha male; he is jealous, possessive, controlling, obsessive, and arrogant. He can never forget his first love, he blames his horrible mother for his treatment of women, he’s always right, he calls his heroine Wren, Little One, Carrot Top, Squeal-pudding and Button Nose. He doesn’t wear any protection when he has sex; and he keeps a bottle of cream on a near-by night stand, because he doesn’t want to take the time. Yes, he is an all-around, self-centered jerk. He makes a practice of making women feel small. The Steve Morgan Bonehead is a creature who should have left this world in the 1970s, but I fear he is still lurking under the weeds.
My nominations for the 2020 Boneheads are:
1. From Ten Kisses to Scandal, by Vivienne Lorret we have a much older man. While I will be honest, I am not fond of large age differences, sometimes in the hands of the right author I have over-looked it. But not in this case, because Nicholas is experienced in so many ways. It is just creepy how he dominates the heroine, and not just physically. He is so condescending, he might as well pat her on the head like a dog.
2. Raven, from My Kind of Earl, by Vivienne Lorret is an almost-bonehead. Yes! I can have almost boneheads if I want them. He chose the very last minutes to let his inner petulance loose and throw a fit.
3. You can always depend on Anne Stuart to give us a bonehead hero, and she does in The Absolutely Positively Worst Man in England, Scotland and Wales. Let me introduce you to Christopher/Kit. He is pure bonehead hero material, even if there is a half-hearted-redemption at the end.
4. In Mary Balogh’s, Someone to Romance, we have a bonehead who is an absentee landlord. There seems to be a lot of those in more recent books. This one is Gabriel Thorne. He has been in America for thirteen years earning tons money, and ignoring the people who are struggling to make a living on his lands. He whines and complains about not wanting to stay in England during most of the book.
5. The Madness of Viscount Atherbourn, by Elisa Braden introduces a revenge bonehead hero, Lucien. Lucien is not only a bonehead, but he has a Bonehead Hero Romanceland Plan. Both Lucien and his stupid plan suck. Lucien is not only vengeful, but he is a cruel, sadistic, wanker.
6. Boo-hoo-whiners can be Bonehead heroes too. This one also happens to be royal, and is responsible for a DNF. From Julia London, A Royal Kiss and Tell, we have Prince Leopold, a kiss-my-butt-I’m-royal-bonehead.
7. Let me introduce you to Colin, our winner. Colin is a character from Elisa Braden’s series Rescue from Ruin, and his book is Desperately Seeking a Scoundrel. Colin was a horrible person in every single book in the series. The more he showed up in the books, the deeper into the mud he sunk. Colin was just toooo much of a bonehead for any author to redeem.
Sidekicks, aka Secondary Characters, aka Supporting Cast of 2020.
Where would a book be without those wonderful secondary characters? There would be no one for our heroine or hero to talk to. There would be no hunky men in a series for us to wait for. There would not be any intelligent women with a purpose for us to cheer on. What would we do without all those scene stealers? This award recognizes the bad and the good secondary characters. These are the characters who caught my eye this year.
1. Lorraine Heath’s Trewlove family has been around for a number of books, and Beauty Tempts the Beast is the last of them. And, in my opinion one of the best. Through this series, I have grown quite fond of Ettie Trewlove, and the foundation of love she created for all the children who found a home with her.
2. Remember I said not all secondary characters are good. Sometimes we have irritating, interrupting characters who are having their own boring romance. And, that’s what happens in The Absolutely Positively Worst Man in England, Scotland and Wales, by Anne Stuart. Yes, every time we start getting some insight into our lead characters, along comes irritating Cecilia and her Bow Street Runner. Hey, Cecilia! We don’t care!
3. Secondary character overload. We get to have a visit from every single Westcott there ever was, and ever will be, in Mary Balogh’s, Someone to Romance.
4. The one good thing about Valerie Bowman’s, The Footman and I, was the friendship between the hero and his friends. But the great chemistry between the friends disappear when they get their own book.
5. In Virginia Heath’s, Lilian and the Irresistible Duke, we are treated to a secondary character who is memorable …and, it’s not human. No, this secondary character is the glorious vision which is Rome. Ms. Heath changes Rome into a living, breathing experience which was a pleasure to read.
6. It was a delightful flash-back, and it involved going back to when Anthony, Benedict, and Colin Bridgerton’s were still young boys. They were so very entertaining, and they brought a smile to my face in Julia Quinn’s, First Comes Scandal.
7. The entire Bedwyn family in Mary Balogh’s Simply series. Every single book in the series as a plethora of Bedwyn’s showing up…don’t they have their own homes?
8. When Mary Balogh gets it right, she gets it right. From Slightly Married, she gives us two wonderful children: Rebecca and David. The emotions were powerful, and they almost stole the show.
9. Once again Mary Balogh turns out some great writing. And, once again it isn’t a secondary person, but this time it is an event – The Duke of Richmond’s ball before the battle of Waterloo. The fear of the upcoming battle is so vivid, you can smell it.
10. My favorite secondary character this year was Bazzle, from Lisa Kleypas’ Chasing Casandra. This young street boy is so very charming. He is great fun. And, it isn’t long before he and his lice, are stealing the scenes.
The 2020 Romanceland Plan
My nominations for 2020:
1. From Vivienne Lorret’s, My Kind of Earl, we have Jane’s parents. Jane is forced to do all the parenting due to the fact that she has a pair of narcissistic parents. It’s ok for these parents to have tons of children, then ignore them.
2. Evie Dunmore’s father of the hero, from A Rogue of One’s Own. This guy is pretty much a monster. He threatens the hero, Tristin, with locking up Tristin’s mother in an asylum, if Tristin doesn’t’ do what he wants.
3. The father from Caroline Linden’s, About a Rogue is a real bonehead. Yes, it’s possible for parents to be boneheads. This father treats his daughter horribly, and all the time all she wants is his affection. It’s pretty pathetic. This is a case where the father got off lightly.
4. In Anne Gracie’s, Marry in Scarlet, has a manipulator mother to end all manipulators. And because of her, her son can never trust, believe, or luv a woman.
5. Another father, who has waaay too much hold over his adult son in Julia Quinn’s, First Come Scandal.
6. Oh no! Say it ain’t so! Every year since this series began, this mother has made my list. Yes, it’s Francesca, Lady Aldriss from Suzanne Enoch’s, Scot Under Covers. Yes, she’s still a horrible mother. She’s still blackmailing her sons into submission, and then wondering why they don’t like her. Not only does Francesca make it to our list, but the winner of this year’s Mommie Dearest comes from the same book.
7. From Suzanne Enoch’s, Scot Under the Covers, the truly loathsome brother Mathew. Mathew actually sells his sister to a slimy toad. And, because of that, Mathew is the winner of the Mommie Dearest winner this year. Congratulations Mathew – you stink!
2020 Steve Morgan Bonehead Hero Award.
My nominations for the 2020 Boneheads are:
1. From Ten Kisses to Scandal, by Vivienne Lorret we have a much older man. While I will be honest, I am not fond of large age differences, sometimes in the hands of the right author I have over-looked it. But not in this case, because Nicholas is experienced in so many ways. It is just creepy how he dominates the heroine, and not just physically. He is so condescending, he might as well pat her on the head like a dog.
2. Raven, from My Kind of Earl, by Vivienne Lorret is an almost-bonehead. Yes! I can have almost boneheads if I want them. He chose the very last minutes to let his inner petulance loose and throw a fit.
3. You can always depend on Anne Stuart to give us a bonehead hero, and she does in The Absolutely Positively Worst Man in England, Scotland and Wales. Let me introduce you to Christopher/Kit. He is pure bonehead hero material, even if there is a half-hearted-redemption at the end.
4. In Mary Balogh’s, Someone to Romance, we have a bonehead who is an absentee landlord. There seems to be a lot of those in more recent books. This one is Gabriel Thorne. He has been in America for thirteen years earning tons money, and ignoring the people who are struggling to make a living on his lands. He whines and complains about not wanting to stay in England during most of the book.
5. The Madness of Viscount Atherbourn, by Elisa Braden introduces a revenge bonehead hero, Lucien. Lucien is not only a bonehead, but he has a Bonehead Hero Romanceland Plan. Both Lucien and his stupid plan suck. Lucien is not only vengeful, but he is a cruel, sadistic, wanker.
6. Boo-hoo-whiners can be Bonehead heroes too. This one also happens to be royal, and is responsible for a DNF. From Julia London, A Royal Kiss and Tell, we have Prince Leopold, a kiss-my-butt-I’m-royal-bonehead.
7. Let me introduce you to Colin, our winner. Colin is a character from Elisa Braden’s series Rescue from Ruin, and his book is Desperately Seeking a Scoundrel. Colin was a horrible person in every single book in the series. The more he showed up in the books, the deeper into the mud he sunk. Colin was just toooo much of a bonehead for any author to redeem.
Sidekicks, aka Secondary Characters, aka Supporting Cast of 2020.
Where would a book be without those wonderful secondary characters? There would be no one for our heroine or hero to talk to. There would be no hunky men in a series for us to wait for. There would not be any intelligent women with a purpose for us to cheer on. What would we do without all those scene stealers? This award recognizes the bad and the good secondary characters. These are the characters who caught my eye this year.
1. Lorraine Heath’s Trewlove family has been around for a number of books, and Beauty Tempts the Beast is the last of them. And, in my opinion one of the best. Through this series, I have grown quite fond of Ettie Trewlove, and the foundation of love she created for all the children who found a home with her.
2. Remember I said not all secondary characters are good. Sometimes we have irritating, interrupting characters who are having their own boring romance. And, that’s what happens in The Absolutely Positively Worst Man in England, Scotland and Wales, by Anne Stuart. Yes, every time we start getting some insight into our lead characters, along comes irritating Cecilia and her Bow Street Runner. Hey, Cecilia! We don’t care!
3. Secondary character overload. We get to have a visit from every single Westcott there ever was, and ever will be, in Mary Balogh’s, Someone to Romance.
4. The one good thing about Valerie Bowman’s, The Footman and I, was the friendship between the hero and his friends. But the great chemistry between the friends disappear when they get their own book.
5. In Virginia Heath’s, Lilian and the Irresistible Duke, we are treated to a secondary character who is memorable …and, it’s not human. No, this secondary character is the glorious vision which is Rome. Ms. Heath changes Rome into a living, breathing experience which was a pleasure to read.
6. It was a delightful flash-back, and it involved going back to when Anthony, Benedict, and Colin Bridgerton’s were still young boys. They were so very entertaining, and they brought a smile to my face in Julia Quinn’s, First Comes Scandal.
7. The entire Bedwyn family in Mary Balogh’s Simply series. Every single book in the series as a plethora of Bedwyn’s showing up…don’t they have their own homes?
8. When Mary Balogh gets it right, she gets it right. From Slightly Married, she gives us two wonderful children: Rebecca and David. The emotions were powerful, and they almost stole the show.
9. Once again Mary Balogh turns out some great writing. And, once again it isn’t a secondary person, but this time it is an event – The Duke of Richmond’s ball before the battle of Waterloo. The fear of the upcoming battle is so vivid, you can smell it.
10. My favorite secondary character this year was Bazzle, from Lisa Kleypas’ Chasing Casandra. This young street boy is so very charming. He is great fun. And, it isn’t long before he and his lice, are stealing the scenes.
The 2020 Romanceland Plan
Allow me to introduce to you a brand-new award. Yes! I don’t know why it took me so long to realize that Plans in Romanceland don’t work, but it did. I thought to myself, “You know, it’s time to recognize these odd thinking moments by supposedly intelligent people.” There are certain warning signs to watch for when a Romanceland Plan is about to be born. Look out for a female disguised as a male, and she may be breaking into a house. She is probably breaking into the house of the man who ruined her sister; however, it turns out that she is mistaken and it’s his brother/uncle/cousin/friend’s house. But that doesn’t matter, because he also has a plan, he’s going to wreak revenge on her because she’s the sister of the man who ruined his sister/mother/cousin, and besides that, he just hates the heroine’s family. But then they announce that they are engaged, but it’s not really a real engagement! No! it’s a fake engagement! But in order to maintain the fake engagement, one of them has to dress up as a servant because they need to get the jewels that are hidden, and the father of the girl dressed as a boy will forgive her for not marrying first. Then they will have to sneak into the villain’s house and rescue allll the orphan’s, before they are sacrificed to the men in the Hellfire club. Sounds like a plan! Then the birds will sing, the squirrels will chatter, and the unicorns will skitter across the countryside. All will once again be well in Romanceland.
And, here are some other worthy 2020 Romanceland plans:
1. From Evie Dunmore’s, A Rogue of One’s Own, we have our hero Tristan’s plan to save his mother from an asylum, then ship her off to India…because she has friends there? Because she likes India? Because she asked to go there? Nope, none of those.
2. Gabriel from Mary Balogh’s, Someone to Romance, has a plan. He plans to marry someone from a powerful family in order to regain his estate. Not sure how. He of course hasn’t been at his estate in years and years, and he doesn’t plan on staying, and he doesn’t plan on falling in love. So, the plan will probably work.
3. The I-know-what-is-best-for-you plan by Elisa Braden’s heroine Augusta, from Anything but a Gentleman. Yes, she’s going to break into a gaming house and steal the “markers” of the creep who seduced her sister, then left her sister pregnant. Does she take into consideration that the guy is a real burp? No. Does she listen to her sister? Nah. Does she do smart things? Ha ha. Does she have long legs and red hair? Yep! That’s probably why her plan won’t work.
4. From the same book, we have another plan. This one is from Sebastian. His plan is to scare Augustus by suggesting she become his mistress…I am speechless. We are talking about a hunky guy from a romance book, and being his mistress is supposed to be scary…Be afraid…be very afraid.
5. Another book by Elisa Braden, The Madness of Viscount Atherbourn. Oh, my favorite kind of plan, the revenge plan. Yes, Lucien is mad, he is seeking revenge on the man he believes is responsible for the ruination of his sister. His plan is to seduce the sister of the man he hates, then create a scandal. Well, the seduction works, but the next day he proposes…so, how does that plan work again?
6. From Valerie Bowman’s, the Footman and I, we have the disguise plan. Three spies/buddies/rakes disguise themselves as servants because…we don’t know why. It’s a bet, one of them is a spy, one of them is avoiding women…it’s a very confusing plan. It doesn’t make sense, but what it does do is get them in the house the same time the heroines are there.
7. A normal plan, or as normal as Romanceland can allow. The plan from Anne Gracie’s, The Perfect Stranger. Nicolas will marry Faith and return her to England. Yep, that’s the plan. Sounds simple, doesn’t it? Well, they have to trek through the countryside of France to get to England. They succeed in getting to England. Then there is some kind of weird, paranormal gypsy who reaches their hand inside the hero’s body, pulls out a tumor, and saves him. The gypsy hand event wasn’t part of the plan, just weird.
8. From Mary Balogh’s, Slightly Sinful, is a doozy of a plan. This plan involves a bunch of prostitutes, our innocent heroine, a crusty one-eyed sergeant, and a hero with amnesia. All of these people need to get some money…because they all have dreams. Well maybe not the guy with amnesia. Anyway, they all pretend to be someone else, so they can approach our heroine’s uncle and get some money from him. The sergeant becomes a valet, the prostitutes become cooks, servants, and a companion. The hero and heroine become pretend-husband and wife. It was all very convoluted…and it didn’t work!
9. Another disguise plan! From The Perfect Kiss by Anne Gracie. Grace Merridew plans to dye her hair and pretend to be a servant. I’m not sure why she needed to dye her hair, but then most of the plan didn’t make sense. Anyway, Grace pretends to be a servant because her bestest friend Molly is being forced to marry Dominic. Dominic doesn’t want children, Molly does. So, Grace dresses up like a servant/maid to Molly so she can do something…not sure what. Except for cleaning the chamber pots, I’m not sure how Grace’s plan was supposed to work, especially when it is Grace who Dominic becomes interested in, not Molly.
10. And the winner is…. Aden’s plan from Suzanne Enoch’s, Scot Under Covers. Yes, Aden has a Romanceland Plan, but it’s a secret!!! He is so arrogant; he doesn’t tell anyone what he’s doing. He has them doing things for him, but he never lets anyone in on the secret plan! Aarrgh! Congratulations on the secret plan! And, congratulations on winning the first Romanceland Plan
And now for the award you’ve all been waiting for. It’s like the Oscar for best picture isn’t it…sort of. Well, maybe not. Yes, yes, yes, it’s time for the 2020 Timothy Toad Award! It’s time to honor those bulges, protrusions, and tents in pants. Sometimes they are eye catching, and sometimes you just wonder how some things are still attached. How can some of those Toads still be in working order, and not shriveled by some disease?
Timothy Toad Award for 2020
1. In Elisa Braden’s, The Truth about Cads and Dukes, we have a Timothy Toad who is completely out of control. Our mature, stiff-neck hero, just cannot control is wacky giant toad. We don’t know why he can’t control it, because we are not given too much insight into his brain. Not the toad’s brain, but the hero’s brain.
2. Another Elisa Braden book. This time it’s The Madness of Viscount Atherbourn. This guy is a real bonehead. He’s arrogant, and he’s out for revenge. Lucien is a real piece of work, and his Timothy Toad must be too. No matter how badly Lucien treats our heroine, she is mesmerized by his magic flute. She just cannot get enough of the puffy, one-eye guy. Page after page of yes, no, yes, no, yes. No wonder Timothy was confused.
3. See what happens when you glom. Yes, another Elisa Braden book is nominated for an award. This time it’s When a Girl Loves an Earl. We have a biggggg one! Yes, James is at least eight feet tall! Everything about him is big. His hands, feet, toes, fingers…and other appendages. Too bad the heroine wasn’t a better heroine, because this huge Timothy Toad was wasted.
4. The lonely Mr. Toad from Valerie Bowman’s, The Footman and I. Lucas’s Mr. Toad is the only thing in this book who was fully developed. I think he must have realized how boring everyone in the story was, because he kept trying to escape.
5. Another oldie. From the 1996 Minx, by Julia Quinn. Dunford has no control over anything in this book, including his Timothy Toad. It was alllll very amusing.
6. We have a very sensitive Mr. Toad from Slightly Sinful by Mary Balogh. He’s so sensitive he can recognize a virgin just by the slightest touch. For some reason, I don’t think these guys are all that sensitive.
7. Beware of Bonehead Heroes with twitching Timothy Toads. Especially when they twitch at the sight of a woman who isn’t engaged to them. Welcome to a very dishonorable toad from The Perfect Kiss, by Anne Gracie
8. And the winner is: All the Mr. Toads from The Arrangement, by Sylvia Day, Minerva Spencer, and Kristin Vayden. Sometimes there is just tooooo much mind-numbing activation of hippidy-hopping toads. Sometimes there are toooo many bananas peeled, too many oranges squeezed. There was so much whankee-woo in this book, there wasn’t a story. If we put choir robes on these guys, I bet they could sing. That would be a sight for sore eyes.
And, it’s over. It’s time to say get thee gone 2020. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out! Here’s hoping that 2021 will bring us a better year. My wish for this year is that we are all still here, and enjoying the books we love so much. It’s been a rough year, and I’m looking forward to being in a crowd, looking up at the sky and watching the stars together.
1. In Elisa Braden’s, The Truth about Cads and Dukes, we have a Timothy Toad who is completely out of control. Our mature, stiff-neck hero, just cannot control is wacky giant toad. We don’t know why he can’t control it, because we are not given too much insight into his brain. Not the toad’s brain, but the hero’s brain.
2. Another Elisa Braden book. This time it’s The Madness of Viscount Atherbourn. This guy is a real bonehead. He’s arrogant, and he’s out for revenge. Lucien is a real piece of work, and his Timothy Toad must be too. No matter how badly Lucien treats our heroine, she is mesmerized by his magic flute. She just cannot get enough of the puffy, one-eye guy. Page after page of yes, no, yes, no, yes. No wonder Timothy was confused.
3. See what happens when you glom. Yes, another Elisa Braden book is nominated for an award. This time it’s When a Girl Loves an Earl. We have a biggggg one! Yes, James is at least eight feet tall! Everything about him is big. His hands, feet, toes, fingers…and other appendages. Too bad the heroine wasn’t a better heroine, because this huge Timothy Toad was wasted.
4. The lonely Mr. Toad from Valerie Bowman’s, The Footman and I. Lucas’s Mr. Toad is the only thing in this book who was fully developed. I think he must have realized how boring everyone in the story was, because he kept trying to escape.
5. Another oldie. From the 1996 Minx, by Julia Quinn. Dunford has no control over anything in this book, including his Timothy Toad. It was alllll very amusing.
6. We have a very sensitive Mr. Toad from Slightly Sinful by Mary Balogh. He’s so sensitive he can recognize a virgin just by the slightest touch. For some reason, I don’t think these guys are all that sensitive.
7. Beware of Bonehead Heroes with twitching Timothy Toads. Especially when they twitch at the sight of a woman who isn’t engaged to them. Welcome to a very dishonorable toad from The Perfect Kiss, by Anne Gracie
8. And the winner is: All the Mr. Toads from The Arrangement, by Sylvia Day, Minerva Spencer, and Kristin Vayden. Sometimes there is just tooooo much mind-numbing activation of hippidy-hopping toads. Sometimes there are toooo many bananas peeled, too many oranges squeezed. There was so much whankee-woo in this book, there wasn’t a story. If we put choir robes on these guys, I bet they could sing. That would be a sight for sore eyes.
And, it’s over. It’s time to say get thee gone 2020. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out! Here’s hoping that 2021 will bring us a better year. My wish for this year is that we are all still here, and enjoying the books we love so much. It’s been a rough year, and I’m looking forward to being in a crowd, looking up at the sky and watching the stars together.
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