Patience by Lisa Valdez

Mathew's amazing Mr. Toad!

After I read Lady Jane, I confess I started reading Patience by Lisa Valdez and I discovered something about myself. Books about female submission and male domination (or S&M or M&M or PM or whatever it is) are not my cup of tea. Oh sure, I've read Erotica Romance before, and I even have some auto-buy authors in that genre. I also remember liking Lisa Valdez's first novel, Passion, five years ago. However, I couldn't get past Mathew Morgan's domination of Patience Dare.

I also had a problem with Mathew's giant Mr. Toad. His Mr. Toad swelled, pulsed, throbbed, twitched all over the place. He ached, he was formidable and at times Mr. Toad was even corpulent. Mathew's thick Mr. Toad could even stop and start in the middle of his eruptions! But, I pressed on, past all of the dripping and weeping and salivating... until that moment when Mr. Toad was jammed down Patience's throat spewing out his "hot glutenous seed." It was at this point that I got the giggles. I just couldn't take it anymore... and by the way, what happened to Ms. Patience's gag reflex? I know when I'm in the dentist chair having poly-ether gunk squirted in, I gag.

I wish Lisa Valdez all the best in her career as a writer and I'm sure that some people will like this book and it will probably be nominated for some awards. But for me it was $7.00 down the tube and a DNF.

Time/Place: Victorian England
Sensuality Rating: Purple Scorching

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