Why, oh why, do I do this every holiday season?
Winter Wishes with Cheryl Bolen, Bronwen Evans, Lana Williams, Bree Wolf, Collette
Cameron, Heather Boyd, Sasha Cottman, Samantha Grace, Donna Cummings, Barbara Monajem, Suzanna Medeiros, Wendy Vella, and Alina K. Field. I picked up Winter Wishes because for some reason I have this idea that it doesn’t take as long to read an anthology as it does a normal book. I don’t know why I think that, I just do. This particular holiday anthology had 1134 pages, so I think I may need to revise my thought process. There seemed to be a gazillion authors in this book, and I was not very familiar with most of them. Wow 1134 pages, and I felt every one of them. It seemed to take forever to get through, so the holiday cheer was a little lacking.Even though each author managed to insert a requisite sex scene or two in their stories, for the most part I found the narratives disjointed and without much complexity. About halfway through I decided not to do a review of each story, but to share with you my random notes. I think you’ll catch on.
Pondering, aka random notes.
1. Are there any short guys in Scotland? Have any of you noticed that all Scottish men stand well over six feet, are as wide as the Grand Canyon, and have thighs as big of trees? I’ve often thought that their Willie-winkers must be pretty small to be squeezed between two giant timbers. I’m not sure why authors always focus in on the giant thighs, we alllll know that’s not what they are referring to.
2. Why aren’t there any bald heroes? Why do all the heroes have a thick head of glossy hair? Anyone out there remember Yul Brynner? Anyone remember Yul walking across the screen? I do. I have always thought that he was one hot guy. Once upon a time, I created a list of movie villains/bad guys I thought were sexy. When I was trying to find images to use for my list I Googled “sexy Yul Brynner.” All I can say is, I got an eye-full of Yul in a relaxed pose. Yowser! Ever since, his strutting walks in movies like Ten Commandments and Westworld have taken on a whole new meaning. So, yes some bald buys have spark.
3. OMG! Secondary characters!! Yes, I understand that short stories are great ways to introduce a series, or finish one. But geewillikers, must allll 13 siblings’, best friends, aunts, uncles, children, parents, cats, dogs, and stoic butlers be included in short stories. They take up the space that could be better served in developing a good story. Besides that all the subplots connected to them was very confusing. Authors, avoid secondary character clutter.
4. What’s the point of the standard hero line: “he’d been without a woman for too long”? Does that mean he’s somehow purer? Once he’s cast his lustful eyes on the heroine does that mean he can never have another? Is this a pre-heroine-faithful Romanceland rule? Why can’t he have just come from his mistress’ bed, seen the heroine, then go back to his mistress? I’d like to see an author pull that complication out of a hat.
5. What’s the deal with all the unpleasant secondary characters? I know these people either already had a story, or are about to. But, for the most part, there characterization in these stories didn’t make me want to read any further stories about them. Nor did I feel the need to glom some of the authors.
6. What century do the women in these stories live in? For the most part, they all seemed to be 21st century women in long dresses.
7. Why is there always time for our heroine to shop for a new wardrobe? You have no money? No problem, we’ll hock your jewelry. Or, better yet the hero will buy the entire wardrobe. Even when a murdering thug is chasing her through London, there is still time for a little nip and tuck.
8. Just how many Dukes are out there?
9. Have you ever noticed how many second sons have the ability to run a horse-breeding farm? I guess that’s better than being a vicar; not as much sex with a vicar.
10. Who knew aristocrats of the 19th century were so concerned with the poor, starving orphans of the world? All those aristocrats righting wrong’s makes me dizzy.
11. Let’s see how many kidnappings, attempted rapes, and larceny attempts we can squeeze into the holiday season.
Overall: this book seemed like it took forever to read. My impression on most of the stories was that they were disjointed and rushed. There were two authors who I might take a longer look at: Donna Cummings, who contributed the charming story A Twelfth Night to Remember and Sasha Cottman, who wrote Mistletoe and Kisses. But the other stories in the book did not put me in a holiday mood.
Time/Place: mostly Regency, Great Britain
Sensuality: Well there were 13 stories, so there were at least 13 bumps. Not sure about the sensuality level.
2 comments:
Your review is far more entertaining. I will pass on the book.
Usha: Thank you
Post a Comment