"Oh, people call me Daffy, they say that I am gooney. Just because I'm happy is no sign I'm Looney Tuney.
When they call me nutsy, that sure gives me a pain. Please pass the ketchup, I think it's going to rain.
Oh, you can't bounce a meatball, though try with all your might. Turn on the radio, I want to fly a kite!
Good evening, frieeeeeeeends..." - Boobs In The Woods
https://www.virginiaheathromance.com/
Have you ever read a Romance book that contains a bunch of intelligence officers/spies and
found yourself pondering the use of the term intelligence? At least in whatever book it is you’re reading. I’ve often found myself asking, would we really apply the word intelligence to the group of goofy guys parading around throughout that story? Would we really entrust our national secrets to these guys? Because I am a person who ponders, I have often found myself wondering. Why am I bringing this up? Well, it just so happens that The Uncompromising Lord Flint contains such a group of men. One in particular happens to be our hero, and he’s one of the biggest Daffy Duck spies I’ve seen in a long time. Say hello to Lord Peter Flint of the King’s Elites from The Uncompromising Lord Flint by Virginia Heath. When the story opens, Peter is transporting a prisoner to London to stand trial as a traitor to the Crown, One Jessamine Fane. Jessamine is not a Romanceland pretend traitor, but a real one. Or, at least she would be if she was living in a real world. She is the step-daughter of the e-v-i-l Comte de Saint-Aubin-de-Sallon, and she has been passing messages to the bad people in England. At least that’s what the Daffy Duck squad believe. Little do they know that it was actually her mother who was passing the messages; at least until she died. The evil Saint Aubin then forced Jess to continue her mother’s work. Unbeknownst to him, while she was sending his messages, she was also adding secret messages inside the secret messages. She has been trying to send helpful hints to the English to help them defeat Napoleon. Of course, it would help if the messages had been sent to a group of smart spies instead of the group of Looney Toon characters being led by Lord Elmer Fudd Fennimore.
Now she is a prisoner of this group. She is trying to save her neck from the gallows, and escape the villainous St. Aubin at the same time. Like a lot of Romanceland heroines, she cannot be straight-forward. It seems she can’t let her captors know about the secret, secret messages. God forbid she would actually tell them the truth so they could help her, and maybe plan a covert operation which might work. Heck, who needs a plan? Don’t worry my little Petunia’s, our hero can come up with a plan. You see, he has a little brain in his tented trousers.
Alas for our plan, our hero has an itchy trigger inside of those tented trousers, and he just cannot control it. While banging into walls with his big lump, he is torn between his duty to his country and his lust for Jess. In fact, for most of this story the little brain in his pants leads the way. While that brain is hot for Jess, Peter’s other brain doesn’t trust her. Maybe that’s because she doesn’t trust him, so they fight, then they lust, then they fight, then they lust. All that back and forth-ing was very exhausting. But, wait! All is not lost! He has a plan! He develops a plan to save her from St. Aubin, and it’s a doozy. He will take her to his country estate, and invite his mother, sisters, their husbands, and their children. Nothing says “great” plan like putting your entire family in danger.
Not only was Flint-y Duck a questionable spy, he also had no respect for women. He hates being around his mother and sisters. He whines and complains about them all of the time. When we were finally introduced to them, I was struck dumb. They were not the horrible, conniving women I was expecting. They loved Flint, and just wanted him to be happy. I didn’t understand his aversion to them. So not only is he a brainless spy, he is also an insensitive lout…another stain against him in my book.
Let’s talk about the villain. Wow, our villain St. Aubin must have been trained at the Bugs Bunny School of One Step Ahead. He knew where the hero and heroine were going to be alllllll the time. He knew all the paths they would take and every secret passage they exited. He could even get past the “Invisibles”, which is the name the elites were called. Of course, maybe when one is up against Elmer Fudd Fennimore and his master spy Flint-y Duck anyone would look good.
Jess’s guilt. I have to ask, just why did Jess have so much overwhelming guilt written into her character? Her mother took her to France, her mother did the spying, and her mother married the e-v-i-l guy. None of that was Jessamine’s fault. She did all she knew how to do to escape the situation. First of all, I thought her guilt feelings were misplaced: secondly, her guilt routine went on waaaayyyyy tooo long.
I’m relatively new to Ms. Heath’s books. In the previous books I admit I was distracted by the odd English grammar, but I was intrigued enough with the stories to continue with the series. But, this addition to the Kings Elites aka Elmer Fudd super-duper spies was a fail for me. There were a lot of silly, idiotic choices made by both the hero and heroine. I just couldn’t believe that spies would actually be that stupid. This story was such a stretch for me to believe, and I’m having a hard time recommending it.
Time/Place: Regency England
Sensuality: Warm
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