Six Impossible Things by Elizabeth Boyle

May 11, 2017

Faster than a speeding bullet, unless it's lodged in her shoulder.
Why? Cause she didn't listen.
More powerful than a locomotive, unless she's tied to the track.
Why? Cause she didn't listen.
Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, and break her legs.
Why? Cause she didn't listen.

Look! Up in the sky! 
It’s a bird.
It’s a plane.
It’s You're-Not-the-Boss-of-Me Girl!
 
http://www.elizabethboyle.com/
Here's the deal. I've read many, many books in which one or more characters irritate me. Yes, yes, I know you find that hard to believe because I'm such a mild-mannered person. But sometimes a character comes along who is just toooo annoying and when they do, they really ruin the story. Well, let me introduce you to Roselie Stratton, Elizabeth Boyle's latest heroine. See that tear in my eye? I am crying big drops of salt water because Elizabeth Boyle is one of my favoriiiiiiiite authors and is responsible for one of my favorite heroines - Emmaline. But gee willikers, Roselie Stratton is - is - is - so strangle-worthy. I can do nothing but stutter. Words just come out of my mouth, like: gag, suffocate, idiotic, witless - I could go on and on. I don't believe I've been so stunned by such a stupendously stupid, headstrong, heroine in a long time. Yes, during the night Roselie Stratton dresses as a mild-mannered sexy floozy. But when trouble comes knocking on her door she runs to the nearest phone booth and turns into You're-Not-the-Boss-of-Me Girl! Ta-ta-tah!!!

You see, Roselie thinks she can catch a killer. Yes, yes, you heard me - a killer. Not just any old killer, but a dangerous one! (As opposed to the ones who are not so dangerous). But that's all right, because she knows everything and she can do anything allllll by herself - with no help from more experienced spy-like people. For instance our hero, Brody. Brody tries to tell her, warn her, protect her, but she doesn't heed his words. She ignores his advice, she doesn't ask for help. She just blindly charges into one disaster after another. She even manages to come up with a plan to help a friend and that friend ends up murdered.

Roselie ruined the entire book for me. Was the plotline good? Wouldn't know, because Roselie was in there doing stupid things. Did I like the hero, Brody? Yes, I did. But how could he be in love with such a nincompoop as Roselie. In my opinion she treated him like dirt and definitely didn't respect him. Should the head of the spy/agent/operative/whatever office have been fired for allowing an idiot woman to cavort through dangerous places? Yes, yes, yes!!!! What was he thinking? Can women be spies? Sure they can - at least the ones who are smart. There's a reason Mata Hari was shot - she wasn't the brightest bulb in the kingdom!

Not even the presence of characters from other books could take my focus away from You're-Not-the-Boss-of-Me Roselie. I'm all for strong heroines, but you don't have to kick a door in to prove your strength. What could have been a charming book was obliterated for me by Roselie.

I shall now cry in private.

Time/Place:  1811 England

Sensuality: Why her Brody?