A Hellion in Her Bed by Sabrina Jeffries

Alert: Gigantic Girth And Growing! (GGAG)
http://www.sabrinajeffries.com/
A Hellion in Her Bed by Sabrina Jeffries is the second in the Hellions of Halstead hall series. This book was a roller coaster ride for me. One moment my eyeballs were rolling and the next moment those same eyeballs were becoming teary.

First of all, this book takes place in the world of the brewery. Both the hero, Jarret, and the heroine, Annabel, live in that place. At first, I thought we were going to have an interesting look into a different milieu from the aristocracy, but Ms. Jeffries didn't take us very deeply into the inner workings of a brewery, much to my disappointment. It might have been an interesting glimpse into a very different place.

I found the first part of the book to be pretty contrived. It has one of those Romance World wager set-ups: "If I win, you save my business; if you win, I go to bed with you." And there were a number of things in the beginning that proved to be most distracting to me. Let's talk about some of those things.

I know that historically accurate language can really get some people agitated. I confess that sometimes I am one of those fly-off-the handle people. However, I also know that certain authors use a lot of modern slang in their books (can you say Julia Quinn?). But, because their books are entertaining, I can overlook those moments. And to be perfectly honest I really don't want to slog through a romance book filled with archaic language. However, when there is too much slang thrown in, it starts to become jarring. In this story, I found myself keeping track of the number of times modern language and or speech patterns were used instead of enjoying the story.

Next thing on my agenda. Over the years, I have been known to skim through sex scenes, especially if they take up whole chapters. But sometimes I read them and find myself asking questions like: "How is that possible?", "Wouldn't that hurt?", "How can his hand be there if his head is over there?" Well, there was one of those moments in this book. Jarret, our hero, wants to see Annabel reach her rapture. (Groan.) Ok, I say. S-O, our hero plunges in with some lip service (if you get my drift). And, lo-and-behold, Annabel finds her rapture. Now, my question is, how can Jarret see anything with his head buried in the valley of whanky-woo? Wouldn't his view be limited to hair and belly-button? And, note to authors: hay/straw are itchy and make us sneeze, to say nothing of the mouse-poo lurking within.

And by the way, ladies. Jarret's member is two inches thick and growing - yes, I had a ruler moment and a good chuckle. For those of you who don't think two inches is big, let's do this test. Go find that compass you never use and draw a two inch in diameter circle, then look at it...really look at it. Then when you are able to say: "you're right, that is a tad bit big," say the magic words..."and growing." And, no I did not do any metric conversion! Why, oh, why can't heroes have normal appendages?

Now, after all that I bet you think I didn't like this book. Wrong! Once Jarret and Annabel get away from London the story took a turn for the better. And except for one minor hissy-fit thrown by Jarret, I found the romance to be quite entertaining. I was even on the edge of my seat wondering how Ms. Jeffries would resolve Annabel's big secret.

As I said in the beginning, this was a roller coaster ride. And I found the second half to be a very touching romance. Because of the second half, I am looking forward to the next book in the series.

Time/Place: Regency England
Rating:
Sensuality Rating: Hot