April 27, 2021
Let's Make a Deal
The Duke's Runaway Bride, by Jenni Fletcher, is a marriage of convenience story...sort of. Or, it could be a story of luv at the Great Romance Bake Off. You know it's funny, those careers you thought might be great when you are a young tadpole, don’t always stand up to the test of time. I always thought it would be neat to work in a bakery. All those cookies, pies, cakes, etc. Recently, I happened to be in a gourmet cookie shop purchasing wonderful cookies, when I noticed the smell. There was an overwhelming sweet, sugary, spicy smell; it permeated my sinuses. And, I was wearing my mask! Kudos to the people on the other side of the counter. You are all very brave to spend the whole day inhaling all that sweetness. When I staggered out into the fresh air, I crossed "bakery owner" off my list of dream careers. Which leads me to The Duke's Runaway Bride, and our heroine Beatrix Roxbury, the Duchess of Howden, aka Belinda Carr.
Belinda Carr likes to make biscuits. By the way, a biscuit may not be what you think it is. It all depends on your location. In the United States, biscuits are little round breads that are served warm, and then you slather butter all over them. In Great Britain, biscuits are what people from the U.S. would call cookies. I think. Watch The Great British Bake-Off for a better definition. Anyway, Belinda has a secret...she's hiding out at a bakery in Bath...a dream of hers. What-o! Hiding out you say! Why would she be doing that? She must be hiding from someone! What horrible person could she be hiding from? Well, she's hiding from her new husband Quin, the Duke of Howden. Boy, he must be a real creep! Nope, not really. In fact, he's a nice guy. But she doesn't know that he's nice, because she ran off shortly after the wedding. Evidently Quin needed money, Beatrix had money, her uncle was a smarmy guy who sort of sold her to Quin. I don't know what her Uncle gained, but I know Quin was able to save his estate. Too bad his bride is missing. But do not worry, because he knows where she's hiding, he's just waiting for the right moment to appear before her. The right moment turns out to be a letter from her saying, "Hey, I'm ok."
Quin appears at the bakery where Beatrix is hiding, and they make a deal. She wants a divorce, he doesn't, they compromise. She will give him six weeks to win her over, if at the end of the six weeks he hasn't, she can leave and go back to the bakery. Seeing as how she never intends to stay with him, the deal seemed a little lopsided to me. Besides that, he has a horrible family. He has a brother who is determined to either be an alcoholic, or die from a social disease. His younger brother and sister are constantly fighting, and his mother is the mother-from-hell. She is one nasty piece of work, there is nothing subtle about any of the vitriol she spews. But don't worry my little Petunia's, it isn't long before super-duper-problem-solver Beatrix has them all dancing with the butterflies. My eyeballs did some rolling through these moments. But I could live with the horrible family. It was the will-she-won't-she moments which I found irritating.
Quin and Beatrix formed a friendship fairly quickly. They communicated (sort of). They liked each other. Quin was a wonderful man, or at least most women would think he was. But not Beatrix! Noooo, she just wants to be free to beat eggs. Quin bent over backwards for this woman, and still she couldn't make up her mind. He had no clue whether she would stay with him or not. The “will-she-won't-she” thing went on way tooooo long. I suspect the reason why it went on for so long, was to create some kind of tension between the two. You see my little Petunia’s, this couple didn’t have any spark. Yes, I confess, I found Quin and Beatrix to be rather dull. I think it would have helped if Beatrix hadn't been such a selfish twit, but that's just me.
Sorry to say, this story was not my cup of tea.
Time/Place: Regency England
Sensuality: Sugary
